Selfless

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Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4

Missing Mom

Mother’s Day is next Sunday. The floral department at the grocery store I frequent is already filling with balloons, cards, and flowers for the occasion. No matter how prepared I think I am to face the cheerful display, the knowledge that I won’t be buying anything for Mom makes sadness well up as I pass by on my way to the bread aisle. You see, this will be my sixth Mother’s Day without her since she went to be with the Lord a few days before the holiday in 2021.

I was blessed to have a godly mother who was my best friend, life-long cheerleader, and prayer warrior. There are numerous adjectives I could use to describe Mom – petite, patient, kind, loving, giving – but the one that tops them all is selfless. Whenever I read the passage above from Philippians 2, I think of Mom.

A Servant Heart

When my husband died suddenly at the age of 39, leaving me with two young daughters to raise on my own, Mom and Dad graciously moved from North Carolina to a house two miles from mine in Georgia. Though Dad sometimes lamented the loss of what he thought their retirement years would be like, Mom never did. She wholeheartedly came alongside me to help raise Mary and Jessie. There was no, “Look at me! Aren’t I great for making this sacrifice?” Instead, when I would thank her and tell her that I didn’t know how I would have made it without her, she would reply, “I couldn’t have stood it if we’d stayed in North Carolina, knowing you and the girls were here by yourselves.”

Thus, my daughters and I, and years later my grandchildren, were blessed by her loving care and presence. A few examples:

  • When my daughters were tiny and spent the night with my parents, they would sometimes become fretful or afraid. Mom would comfort them, then lie down by their crib until she was sure they’d fallen back asleep.
  • When I was working full-time and traveling, Mom would occasionally clean my house so I could relax on the weekends. When my daughters were old enough, she enlisted their help during the summer, teaching them the importance of helping others.
  • Mom prepared countless homemade meals, not to mention pound cakes and cookies that she shared with friends, doctors, and service folks, including appliance repair techs, mechanics who worked on my parents’ cars, and emergency responders who worked to restore power in their neighborhood after Hurricane Hugo blew through Charlotte.
  • Whenever Mom shared something – fresh fruits and vegetables from the produce stand she and Dad frequented, fragrant flowers from her gardenia bush – she chose the best for the recipient rather than for herself.
  • Each time Mom accompanied me to spend the day with my grandchildren, she made sure to have a small surprise for them, ranging from stickers and coloring pages to a sweet or salty treat.

A Humble Heart

Mom had no aspirations of greatness. During her long career as a bank teller, she had opportunities to become a manager, but she was content to remain at the counter serving customers, some of whom would wait in her line even when other tellers were available.

Similarly, Mom was satisfied to serve at home, out of the spotlight, cheering her family on in their endeavors.

Ironically, “Eulogy for a Godly Mother”[1] is my most widely read post by far. I don’t know how much of the post people read, but I hope they read at least a few of “Mom’s Mottos” and decide to put some of them into practice. I smile, thinking about how much Mom’s influence may have spread through that article.

Our Savior’s Heart

After the Apostle Paul instructs his Philippian readers to put others’ interests before their own, he goes on to say:

Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross (Philippians 2:5-8).

Mom was one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. Selfless and generous, she delighted in serving and giving to others. I think of her whenever I read Philippians 2:3-8. Mom humbly put others’ interests before her own. Though she never would have been bold enough to say, “Be imitators of me as I imitate Christ,” as the Apostle Paul did (1 Corinthians 11:1), nor did she hold herself up as a godly role model, she nonetheless set a beautiful example for me to follow.

The best way to honor her memory is to follow her, as she followed Jesus, the One who demonstrated ultimate selflessness. Though I often fall short, one of the greatest compliments anyone can pay me is to say that some aspect of my character resembles Mom’s.

Although Mom didn’t receive many worldly accolades, I know her reward in heaven is great. She stored up much heavenly treasure during her earthly life (Matthew 6:19-21). Her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren rise up and call her blessed (Proverbs 31:28). I will be forever grateful for the gift of a godly mother.

[1] https://patsykuipers.com/2021/05/09/eulogy-for-a-godly-mother/

Transformation

/ Patsy Kuipers / Leave a comment

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18

I was invited to share some thoughts at our women’s brunch yesterday about how God has transformed me since calling me to Himself. The timing was fitting, as one of the most transformative events of my life occurred 29 years ago today, when I became a widow at 38.

This post is based on the comments I made at the brunch.

Looking Back

There are challenges that come with getting older, but there’s one thing I truly cherish: gaining a long-term perspective. I was baptized and made a public profession of faith shortly before my 16th birthday, just over 51 years ago. I didn’t know much theology back then, but I knew I was a sinner in need of a Savior, that Jesus loved me and died for me, and that I wanted to live a life pleasing to Him in gratitude for all He’d done for me.

When I consider the habits and attitudes that characterized my teen years, I cringe. God had replaced my heart of stone with a heart of flesh, yet I still had a long way to go when it came to looking like Jesus.

Gains and Losses

God blessed me with a mother who embraced and embodied her faith and was my prayer warrior. He also gave me a godly husband, grounded in sound theology and more mature in character, to help me grow in the faith. God brought me to Georgia nearly 34 years ago, where I came under Susan Hunt’s sound teaching on Biblical womanhood. Each of these people and relationships was key to my spiritual transformation.

Equally important are the hardships and losses God providentially placed in my life:

  • God called my husband, Ray, Home on April 19, 1997, leaving me a widow with two elementary-aged daughters to raise.
  • Years later, after my daughters were grown and on their own, my 30-year career ended when my position was eliminated.
  • More recently, my parents have gone to be with the Lord.

To borrow a phrase from a friend’s husband, each of those losses further unbolted me from my love affair with the world, transforming me from a woman too driven by immediate circumstances into one who embraces an eternal perspective (2 Corinthians 4:17-18). Those hardships have also drawn me closer to God and deepened my awareness of His faithfulness and enduring love.

Whose Strength?

As I’ve persevered through challenging times, various people have said, “You’re so strong. How do you keep going?” My reply? “It’s not my strength!” If God’s power had not been made perfect in my weakness, I would have crumbled long ago (2 Corinthians 12:9). His grace is sufficient, and He’s never forsaken me.

Sometimes I wonder if Ray would recognize me if he came back, not so much because of the wrinkles and other effects of physical aging, but because of the changes God has brought about through the power of His Spirit at work within me. Would Ray see a gentler, quieter spirit, more patience, peace, and selflessness than when he last saw me?

I think he would. Ray always thought more highly of me than I did of myself. During premarital counseling, we filled out various forms, including one that asked us to list the top five strengths we saw in our future spouse. Ray’s list included, “She’s serious about her faith.” He saw the potential and what I could become in time as the master Potter shaped and molded me (Isaiah 64:8), and he was willing to marry me, even though I had plenty of flaws.

Mighty Makeover

Even more significantly, God knows who He created me to be and has been patiently transforming me into the image of His Son. Sometimes, especially during times of great loss, it’s felt like He was using a sledgehammer. At other times, it’s been more like fine-grained sandpaper and a polishing cloth. Regardless of His method, His commitment has never wavered.

God knew every sin and flaw in me, yet He chose me before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4), sent His precious Son to die for me (John 3:16), and has promised to complete the good work He began in me when He calls me Home (Philippians 1:6). That’s true for every one of His children.

All of us are at different stages of transformation, and God will use diverse means to bring about the desired changes. We can be confident He will do so, because those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that He might be the firstborn among many brothers (Romans 8:29).

We are being transformed from one degree of glory to another. We will be like Jesus when our faith becomes sight and we see Him as He is (1 Corinthians 13:12).

To God be the glory!

Rejoice!

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He is not here, for he has risen, as he said.
Matthew 28:6

Happy Easter, dear readers! Easter is my favorite day of the year. Joy fills my heart as I wake up thinking, “He is Risen!” I pray that you, too, are filled with joy knowing Jesus is alive and seated at God’s right hand, interceding for us (Romans 8:34).

The beauty of springtime adds to my delight as all creation reawakens and joins the chorus of praise to our Creator. Bright green leaves, colorful flowers, baby birds – signs of new life that remind us of our new life in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).

Thus, I will let Scripture and a few photos do most of the talking in this post, a tribute to our Risen Savior. (Please note: the added emphasis in the passages is mine.)

But on the first day of the week, at early dawn, the women went to the tomb, taking the spices they had prepared. And they found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they went in they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were perplexed about this, behold, two men stood by them in dazzling apparel. And as they were frightened and bowed their faces to the ground, the men said to them, “Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but has risen. Remember how he told you, while he was still in Galilee, that the Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men and be crucified and on the third day rise.” And they remembered his words (Luke 24:1-8 ESV).

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words (1Thessalonians 4:13-18 ESV).

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true” (Revelation 21:1-5 ESV).

God promised to send a Savior (Genesis 3:15) and He did (John 3:16).

Jesus promised to return and take us to be with Him (John 14:3). He will.

Because God always keeps His promises. Therein lies our hope. Let us remember His words and encourage one another with them.

The Impostor, Encore

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[Satan] was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
John 8:44

Sprinkle, sprinkle

My garden is home to a stand of native columbines, offspring of plants my late husband started over 30 years ago. Like many other gardening tasks, ensuring the columbines survived was something I had to learn through experience after Ray suddenly passed away one warm April evening. When I cut back the spent flowers later that spring, seeds spurted out, dotting the ground and decorating my shirt. I decided to sprinkle more around for good measure. And sprinkle I did, shaking one dried pod after another!

Months passed. Raising two young daughters alone and trying to find my footing in a world that had turned upside down consumed much of my time and energy. But winter waned, warmer days returned, and the garden beckoned me. A leisurely stroll yielded several encouraging finds – tiny plants emerging from their winter slumber.

“Hmm,” I wondered. “What could all those leaves springing up in the front bed be?”  Then I remembered scattering columbine seeds everywhere. It worked! I’ve continued the sprinkling tradition ever since, and each year I’ve been blessed with a bumper crop.

What’s That?!

When I first took stock of the returning plants, I noticed some leaves that resembled columbine foliage and had a similar growth habit. Not wanting to pull up desirable plants, I decided to let them develop until I was sure. Big mistake! By the time I figured out they were weeds, they had already taken root, matured, and produced seeds.

The impostors return each spring alongside the columbines, hiding out, hoping I won’t spot them. But after nearly three decades of careful observation and informed scrutiny, I can quickly detect the difference, even when the plants are still small. I pluck the weeds before they have a chance to get established and take over valuable garden space.

Fake Friend

Like my early dealings with the weeds, it’s easy to let questionable behavior or ungodly thoughts take root. We rationalize, “Looks like a good thing. I’m not sure, but it won’t hurt to try it out, at least until I’m certain. I can redirect later if need be.”

By the time we recognize the situation for what it is, it’s much more challenging to handle than if we had been spiritually vigilant from the start.

Unlike the weeds, which aren’t actually out to get me, we have an adversary bent on our destruction. Although Satan knows his ultimate defeat is certain, he prowls about like a roaring lion seeking someone to destroy (1 Peter 5:8). He masquerades as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14), tempting with promises that seem oh-so-reasonable, all while discounting potentially deadly consequences. He has used the same tactics since he first appeared on the scene (Genesis 3:1-5).

Practicing Discernment

Fortunately, there is a way to resist him. We must draw near to God, making use of the mighty armor He provides for us. Ephesians 6:17 describes the Word of God as the sword of the Spirit. We are to use it to protect our thoughts and to fend off Satan’s tempting lies. In doing so, we will be following Jesus’ example. When Satan tempted Him in the wilderness, he responded to each temptation with, “It is written,” followed by an appropriate passage from Scripture (Matthew 4:1-11).

When we meditate on God’s powerful Word, we are increasingly able to test and approve what His will is – His good, pleasing, and perfect will (Romans 12:2) – and to refute lies with Truth.

As the colony of columbines has become increasingly dominant over the years, there’s less room for the annoying intruders. Those that do appear don’t get to stay around long since I can now readily identify them. Just as I’ve consistently sprinkled columbine seeds and studied the resulting plants’ appearance, let us liberally sow God’s truth in our lives and cultivate its teachings. In so doing, may we more easily recognize the father of lies and weed out his wily temptations before they can entice and entangle us.

Thank You, Lord, for Your mighty Word, which is living, active, and sharper than any two-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12). Please help us to study it deeply and frequently so that we’re able to discern the difference between truth and deception.

Training for Godliness

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Train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.
1 Timothy 4:7b-8

Watching the Winter Olympics last month reminded me how fitting the Apostle Paul’s comparisons of spiritual and physical training are.

Helpful Analogies

Like millions of other people around the world, I watched countless hours of coverage. I caught myself holding my breath multiple times, as athletes went hurtling down hills at speeds comparable to those I drive on the interstate, and did flips and tricks that left me mesmerized and marveling that human bodies can even perform such stunts.

As I viewed the various events, I kept thinking about how hard the athletes had to work and how many years they trained to reach the Olympics. You don’t just wake up one morning and master triple toe loops and backflips on an ice rink, or develop the stamina for cross-country skiing and speed skating overnight. 

All this pondering reminded me of Bible passages that call us to apply the same discipline and dedication required of elite athletes to our spiritual development. These two came to mind in addition to the introductory verse:

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.
1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:1-2

Key Parallels

There are several parallels between physical and spiritual training:

  • Discipline: Just as athletes need ongoing physical discipline in areas like diet and exercise, those who follow Jesus also require discipline in spiritual practices such as prayer, Bible study, and worship. Serious athletes wouldn’t think of eating a steady diet of junk food or going for days without practicing. Likewise, we must feed on God’s Word, pray, and participate in corporate worship, not occasionally or when we “feel” like it, but consistently.
  • Endurance: The Christian life is often compared to a marathon. Having seen my daughter train to run that distance several times, I know it requires not only physical preparation but also mental toughness. Jesus is our ultimate example of endurance. He persevered through all of the trials set before Him, including death on the cross, remaining focused on the joy that awaited. Because of His work on our behalf, we can be confident that we, too, will finish the race and be seated in the heavenlies (Ephesians 2:4-6).
  • Fans: Athletes receive support from devoted fans and enthusiastic followers, including fellow athletes who have competed in the past. Believers have a great cloud of witnesses who testify to God’s faithfulness (Hebrews 12:1). Their lives serve as examples of what faith and perseverance in hardship look like. I imagine them cheering us on toward certain victory in Christ (Philippians 1:6).
  • Coaches: Skilled coaches who know their sports and can teach and motivate their athletes are priceless. Similarly, those who are further along in the Christian walk can exhort and encourage those who are younger in their faith; in fact, they are instructed to do so (Titus 2:1-8), and there are multiple examples in Scripture, such as Moses and Joshua, Naomi and Ruth, and Paul and Timothy. What’s more, we have the Holy Spirit, the ultimate coach, who counsels and empowers us (John 14:26).

Key Differences

  • Effect: Because of the Fall, our physical bodies will wear out over time. No matter how much training we do, fitness and strength will decline. Not so with spiritual training, which helps us become more and more like Christ and produces eternal fruit (2 Corinthians 3:18; Galatians 5:22-23).
  • Prizes: In sports competitions, only one athlete or team wins. Even then, the medals and trophies will eventually tarnish and decay. But every child of God will receive an imperishable prize of far greater value than a gold medal: eternal life with Him!

Though we will never achieve perfection in this life, we must continue practicing, training, and pressing on toward the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:12-14), knowing that we do not strive alone. We are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, empowered by the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead, and accompanied by a perfect Savior who has promised never to leave or forsake us.

Covenant Family

/ Patsy Kuipers / 2 Comments

So we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.
Romans 12:5

Not only am I blessed to be part of a close-knit family of kinfolk, but I’m also blessed to be part of a covenant family that knows how to love well.

A Hard Day

Twenty-nine Valentine’s Days have come and gone since my husband and forever love, Ray, was last with me to celebrate. I never know how the holiday will affect me. Some years, I remain upbeat; others, I feel my partner’s absence so keenly that tears overtake me throughout the day. This year was one of the latter.

Despite my best efforts to stay focused on the blessing of sharing life and love with a godly husband for 13 years, my thoughts kept returning to the fact that he’s no longer here and to how much I lost when the Lord called him Home.

It didn’t help that I couldn’t find the last Valentine’s card Ray gave me, the one I pull out each year to remind me how he felt about us. I knew exactly where it was supposed to be, but I found only an empty envelope. Dreary weather and spending the day alone deepened my melancholy.

By the time I crawled into bed that night, I was downright dismal. Unfortunately, my mood didn’t improve while I slept. A text from my daughter saying they wouldn’t be at church made me consider not going either. After all, tears were still flowing easily, and there would be no hugs from my grandchildren to ease my loneliness.

But I went.

Corporate Worship

As my adult daughters will tell you from childhood experience, I don’t take skipping church lightly. In-person, corporate worship is a duty and a privilege, ordained by God. Not only are we to praise Him and be cleansed, fed, and renewed by His word, but we’re also to encourage our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Simply being together, hearing one another’s voices raised in song, prayer, and praise, is encouraging (Colossians 3:16). I knew I had to get there. I had to be with my covenant family.

It certainly wasn’t the first time feeling low nearly kept me at home, but whenever I’ve made the effort to go, regardless of how I felt, I’ve never regretted it. Time and again, being with God’s people has reminded me that I’m not alone, ever, and has lifted me out of my sadness.

Last Sunday was no different. When first one sister in Christ and then another asked how I was, I answered honestly, “Not great.” Hugs followed my admission. One friend in particular didn’t shy away from the tears that flowed as I told her how hard it is to be without Ray, not just on Valentine’s Day, but every day.

Love One Another

But God didn’t stop there. In His over-and-above way, He provided more love from my covenant family in the form of a cheerfully decorated bag filled with homemade cookies and cards from the youth.

As I thanked one of the youth leaders on my way out, she told me they’d encouraged the kids to empathize with the recipients of the treats, those in our congregation who no longer have their spouses, and that some had gone deep in expressing their sentiments. Such was the case with the young man who wrote the note in my card. He shared several pertinent verses (Psalm 68:5, Deuteronomy 31:6, and Matthew 28:20b), then added a personal message that included, “Your earthly half may be gone, but your heavenly One isn’t, nor will He ever be gone.”

By the time I got in my car to head home, my mood had completely changed. Adam isn’t the only one for whom solitude wasn’t good. God made us for community, and last Sunday He loved me well through my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Epilog

Unlike last week, I eagerly got ready to attend church this morning, anticipating being with my covenant family. I smiled when I saw that our Scripture reading included the following:

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near (Hebrews 10:24-25, emphasis mine).

It felt like an exclamation point to the gratitude I’d been feeling all week for the kindness I received, kindness that turned my tears into joy.

So, dear reader, show up! Maybe you’re the person who needs a hug, but more importantly, you might be the person God will use to give a hug to someone like me!

The End?

/ Patsy Kuipers / Leave a comment

When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

“Death is swallowed up in victory.”
 “O death, where is your victory?
    O death, where is your sting?”
1 Corinthians 15:54-55

Others’ End

I usually enjoy seeing my Facebook memories. They remind me of happy times with family and friends and help me keep track of when various plants bloom from year to year. But sometimes the memories are painful. Such was the case recently when a post from January 2021 appeared. In it, I informed friends and family of Mom’s leg pain and asked those reading the post to please pray for wisdom regarding a proper diagnosis and treatment.

What I didn’t know then but am woefully aware of now is that three short months later, Mom would no longer be with us. She endured far greater suffering in those final months, especially in her last days after she broke her hip.

With each passing year, I know how life ends for more and more close friends and relatives.

I recently came across a list of folks to pray for that I wrote more than a year ago. While some on the list have recovered and are doing well, four are now with the Lord, fully healed like Mom, but oh how we miss them.  

February 6th would have been my husband Ray’s 68th birthday. But a few weeks after his 39th birthday, he went to work on a beautiful spring day, suffered a fatal heart attack, and never came home.

Life after the Fall is fragile indeed.

My End

I don’t know what my end-of-life story will look like, but I know my end will come, too, unless Jesus returns first. Since losing Mom and Dad, I’ve been more aware of my own mortality and of being the senior generation in my family.

Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I try to deny death. Yet having a front-row seat to my parents’ final months makes denial impossible. They were both capable, independent, hardworking people well into their 80s. Nevertheless, the ravages of age finally caught up with them, as they will with me unless I’m taken quickly, as Ray was.

Not the End!

During Ray’s funeral, one of the pastors declared, “For believers, death is not the end, beloved. It is a most glorious beginning!”

Over the years, that statement has become a touchstone for me. Losing a loved one still hurts because death separates us. We long for one more conversation, one more Starbucks date, one more stroll around the neighborhood, recognizing that those one-mores aren’t possible.

Yet we grieve with hope, knowing the separation is only temporary. Our loved ones are safely Home. Their end here was only the beginning of life in eternity. They will not return to us, but one day we will join them and the great throng around the throne, praising the Lamb forever and ever.

Blessed Assurances

Each day, I pray for those who are grieving recent losses, often adding, “All of us are missing someone, Lord. Please be with us, too.”

The raw pain of loss gradually recedes, replaced by a deep soul-sigh of longing that endures until it’s our turn to go Home. In my experience, we never stop missing our loved ones. So I’ll conclude this post with some of my favorite Scripture passages, those I turn to when I need to be reminded that death is not the end but a most glorious beginning for those who love the Lord. I pray they will comfort your heart, too.

In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also (John 14:2-3).

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. Therefore encourage one another with these words (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18. Emphasis mine.)

I tell you this, brothers: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

“Death is swallowed up in victory.”
“O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?”

 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 15:50-57).

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place[a] of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” (Revelation 21:1-5)

Plans and Purposes

/ Patsy Kuipers / 2 Comments

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

This time 15 years ago, I was finishing up my last full day of work. The next day, my 30-year career at a large corporation would come to an end, not by choice, but by decree. My job no longer existed. But God had a plan. He always does.

The Backstory

All careers have ups and downs, good bosses and not-so-good ones. During the last year of my career, I was the only person reporting to a newly minted manager, one who systematically dismantled my position.

I was angry and resentful, wondering if I should retire or stay. Did God want me to humble myself and grow from the challenging circumstances, or was He preparing me to leave? I asked several close friends to join me in praying for His guidance.

As my annual performance review approached, I told my family I expected to be let go or put on probation. Thus, I wasn’t surprised when my boss and her manager joined me in a windowless conference room and announced, “I know you’re expecting your annual review, but you won’t be having it because your job has been eliminated.”

My first thought, “This is real!” was immediately followed by “Thank You, Lord, for giving me a black-and-white answer.”

It was a classic departure scenario. I handed in my computer, badge, and credit card and left without saying goodbye to anyone. I exited into the gray January afternoon, numb and unemployed. But the next day I awoke to sunshine streaming through my window. I later echoed that optimism in a Facebook post: “30+ years of continuous employment came to a halt yesterday when my job was eliminated. God obviously has something else for me to do. I can’t wait to see what it is!”

Regardless of my supervisor’s motives, it became increasingly evident that what she may have meant for evil, or self-preservation at my expense, God meant for so much good.

Horticulture Diploma

In the months leading up to my dismissal, I spent a lunch hour reviewing the requirements for the horticulture program at our local technical college. My passion for plants grew over the years as I cared for the garden my husband left as part of his legacy, when he passed away at the too-young age of 39. As I scrolled through the course catalog, I kept thinking, “Oooh, I want to take that class! And that one! And this one!” As lunchtime drew to a close, I wrote “My dream: Environmental Horticulture Diploma” on a sticky note and stuck it in the back of my planner.

Two days after my career ended, I began the process to enroll in the horticulture program at our local technical college. The following year, I realized my dream, having devoured the course material like someone savoring an exceptional meal.

Grammie Days

My grandson Joshua was born six months after I lost my job. He was my study buddy from his earliest days, as I pointed out plants while we strolled the neighborhood, and he is as passionate about plants as I am. Sisters Lyla and Emma, now lovely and lively 6th and 4th-graders, joined the family in 2 ½-year intervals.

Photos and Facebook memories attest to the blessing and privilege of being a consistent part of my grandchildren’s lives from the time they were born. We coined the term “Grammie Days” for my weekly routine of spending Mondays and Wednesdays with them. Those days laid the foundation for lasting relationships.

Even though Grammie Days aren’t as frequent during the school year, we enjoy the times we have together, be it at church on Sunday mornings, over a meal, or during drivetime conversations while shuttling from one activity to another.  

Available to Help

My parents lived long, productive lives. Healthy and independent into their late 80s, they eventually reached the point where they needed assistance. Sometimes when I accompanied Mom to an appointment, she would tell the doctor, “Patsy is the mother now. She takes care of me.”

Dad had a stroke six months after Mom died. I helped him move into an assisted living facility and oversaw his care and finances.

It broke my heart to watch Mom and Dad’s decline, but when our roles shifted, it was a privilege to come alongside the ones who had cared so well for me.

God’s Good Plans

Left to my devices, my career would have ended years later with a retirement celebration attended by family, friends, and longtime colleagues and customers. But God had other, better plans (Proverbs 19:21). Furthermore, the events of the past 15 years are a testament to His ability to bring beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3). Earning a horticulture diploma, establishing close relationships with my grandchildren, helping Mom and Dad end well –  these are over-and-above blessings (Ephesians 3:20) that wouldn’t have been possible had I kept working, priceless gifts that more than outweigh the abrupt end to my career.

Lord, thank You that Your good plans prevail (Proverbs 16:9). Please help me to trust You with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding, knowing that You will make my paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Through the Desert

/ Patsy Kuipers / 2 Comments

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Psalm 32:8

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
Deuteronomy 31:8

A Desolate Route

Last summer, I joined my family for a portion of their epic road trip. I flew into Albuquerque and out of Las Vegas, visiting places like the Grand Canyon, Antelope Canyon, and Joshua Tree National Park along the way.

After touring the latter, we stopped by a Starbucks to pick up lunch and some snacks to keep us going as we drove to Vegas, about 220 miles away. While waiting for our order, we pulled up directions. One route option would take almost an hour longer. Not paying close attention to the details and wanting to get to the rental house and its pool sooner rather than later, we selected the shorter option. Who wouldn’t?

In hindsight, I wouldn’t! At least not at night or alone.

In our haste, we failed to see that our chosen route would take us straight through the Mojave Desert and mile after mile of desolation. After enduring a couple of hours of the same vast vista with few signs of life, I understood why the barista shook his head and smiled knowingly when I asked if there was another Starbucks between 29 Palms and Las Vegas. “No ma’am. There’s really not much of anything between here and the Nevada state line.”

No kidding!

Frayed Nerves

We didn’t have cell service for most of the trip, but fortunately, the map app kept working. Each time the directions indicated a turn in the next X miles, I would get my hopes up that after I made the turn, I would see civilization. Nope! Though turns weren’t numerous, the ones we did make revealed more of the same scenery stretching to the horizon.

Multiple repetitions of the hope-turn-more of the same landscape cycle taxed my mental strength. I began to think we might never make it out of the desert, and my empathy for those who made the trek before there were roads, much less towns, deepened. I could understand how they might snap before ever reaching their final destination. After all, I was in an air-conditioned car, not a covered wagon or on horseback!

Sustained by caffeine and my daughter’s assurance that we would eventually emerge from the seemingly unending desert, I continued to follow the directions, one after another. Finally, after what felt like days instead of hours, we made a turn and saw I-15 in the distance. I’ve never been so happy to see an interstate!

Spiritual Parallels

As I pondered that trek across the desert, several spiritual parallels came to mind.

We were quick to choose the route we thought would be easier. It was indeed shorter, but it was fraught with potential perils. How often do I opt for what I perceive as the less challenging route in life, only to find hazards and temptations I wouldn’t have encountered had I taken the time to submit my plans to God and His word before proceeding?

Yet, there are times when God providentially ordains that we walk through the wilderness, something we would never choose. He uses those experiences to conform us more to the image of His Son, who endured His own wilderness experience (Matthew 4:1-11). We may wonder if we’ll ever come out safely on the other side. When we do, we emerge with our faith strengthened, ready to comfort those with the comfort we’ve received from our compassionate Father (2 Corinthians 1:3-7).

Having food and a traveling companion made the desert ordeal more bearable. Never underestimate the sustaining power of God’s word and the blessing of having a fellow believer come alongside you during wilderness wanderings. Even when we don’t have another person with us, we’re never alone. God has promised to go before us, never to leave or forsake us, and the indwelling Spirit is always with us.

Epilog

Several weeks after my journey through the desert, I visited relatives in South Dakota. There are multiple routes to choose from when driving from the Omaha Airport to Platte, the small town where my husband grew up. I picked one based on a timely stop for dinner. I thought I had chosen the same route for the return trip, but halfway through, I realized I no longer recognized any of the scenery.

As I followed the map prompts, making turn after turn that took me along roads bordered by flourishing fields of corn and soybeans, doubts similar to those I experienced in the Mojave crept into my mind. “I don’t know where I am or how long it will take me to get through this maze! What if I’m late for my flight?”

Almost as soon as the misgivings materialized, I shook my head as I realized how much I’m like the Israelites who forgot about God’s miraculous deliverance and provision a few short days after the exodus from Egypt (Exodus 16:2-3).  

Not trusting a GPS is one thing, but not trusting God? That’s an entirely different matter! Whether I’m traversing deserts or wandering through lush landscapes, God is Sovereign over every detail of my life and will never lose sight of me.

And when this life is over, God will receive me into glory, my ultimate destination (Psalm 73:23-24).

Christmas Tears

/ Patsy Kuipers / 2 Comments

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.
Revelation 21:4

Significant Losses

For most of my life, the happy anticipation of my birthday and Christmas filled the month of December. Even though I was born a few days before Christmas, Mom always made sure my special day didn’t get lost amidst the other holiday festivities. I was blessed to have her with me for 62 birthdays. She went Home in the spring of my 63rd year. By the time December rolled around, my 90-year-old father had a live-in caregiver to assist him after the stroke he suffered a few months after Mom passed.

If I could have, I would have fast-forwarded to January. Mom and I had so many treasured traditions, I didn’t feel like celebrating without her. Still, I went through the motions for my family’s sake. By the time my second Christmas without Mom rolled around, Dad was in an assisted living facility, and by the third, he’d joined Mom in the presence of Jesus.

I wondered if the December joys I experienced for so many years would ever return. Finally, last year I felt the stirrings of old, familiar anticipation, and this year I fully embraced the joys of the season.

Sometime Every Christmas, I cry.[1]

Nonetheless, my post-Christmas melancholy is almost as customary as the happy anticipation that precedes the holiday, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when it arrived the day after Christmas. Not only were the gifts given and family gatherings completed, but also the Facebook memories of Christmases past greased the rails of the downward emotional slope.

As I gazed through tear-filled eyes at photos of family feasts and gift exchanges when Mom and Dad were still with us, I remembered a comment one of my friends made several years ago. Even as we mourn the empty seats at our table, longing to be with our departed loved ones, Scripture assures us that there’s an empty seat waiting for us at the heavenly banquet (Revelation 19:6-9).

A Breath Away[2]

A character on a show I was watching recently died. As he neared the end of his life, the rapt look on his face, accompanied by a statement describing a vision of deceased loved ones, reminded me of a similar experience I had with Mom a few days before her passing. I stood by her bed, trying to calm her constant fidgeting, when she became quiet. A look of wonder stole over her face. She stared past me, smiled as if gazing around a room full of loved ones, long gone, and whispered, “Is that Ray? There you all are! It’s been a long time. Do you remember me?” The moment passed quickly, but it left an impression I’ll never forget.

Likewise, there was the conversation I had with Dad’s hospice nurse as we waited together in the wee hours of the morning for the undertaker to come.

“Did your dad tell you he’s been seeing your mom?”

“No, he didn’t, but it doesn’t surprise me. I told him she’d be waiting for him.”

Christmas Hope

I know, like me, many of you are missing loved ones this Christmas season, some of you much more recently bereaved than I am. But because of the Baby in the manger, whose birth we just celebrated, we can rest assured that our believing loved ones are safe at Home and there’s a place waiting for us (John 14:2-3).

We will join them one day because that Baby was the Word made flesh. He dwelt among us for a while, full of grace and truth (John 1:14), yet despised and rejected by men. Sinless, He was crushed for our transgressions (Isaiah 53:3, 5) so that we can be robed in His righteousness (2 Corinthians 5:21), made perfect, fit to dwell with our high and holy God, who is also our Heavenly Father. He loved us so much that He sent His only Son to save us (John 3:16).

That good news isn’t just for December! The Christmas message infuses every day with joy and hope.

So take heart, dear ones. The separation is only temporary. Each passing day brings us closer to our real Home, where we will join those who have gone before us, rejoicing in the presence of our gracious and merciful King.

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:1-4)

[1] Inspired by lyrics from “Sometime Every Christmas,” by Michael W. Smith.

[2] Inspired by lyrics from “To Where You Are,” by Josh Groban.