Author: Patsy Kuipers

The Whole Truth

/ Patsy Kuipers / Leave a comment

Make me to know your ways, O Lord;
    teach me your paths.
Lead me in your truth and teach me,
    for you are the God of my salvation;
    for you I wait all the day long.
Psalm 25:4-5

Assuming the Worst

I removed the receipt from the gas pump and gave it a quick glance before putting it in my wallet. 18 gallons? It seemed like a lot, since I can only fit 11 gallons in my similarly sized CR-V when it’s nearly empty. Maybe the rental car had a bigger tank? Regardless, I needed to get ready to meet relatives for dinner in less than an hour, so I let it go.

Two days later, I was back at home reviewing the receipts from my trip, including the rental car statement. I’d added more gas a few miles before reaching the airport and returned the car with a full tank, which was duly noted – 11 gallons upon leaving and 11 gallons upon return.

Woah! How had I managed to put 18 gallons of gas in a car with an 11-gallon tank? Was the pump wrong? Had I been taken advantage of?

Incensed at the possibility, I tried calling the station – no answer. Then I tried calling my brother-in-law to see if he knew the owners since I’d been visiting a small town where everyone knows pretty much everyone. No answer there either.

I turned to Google to find out the tank capacity of the rental car’s make and model – 14.5 gallons maximum. I spent a considerable amount of time trying to make sense of the situation, time that I could have devoted to other post-vacation chores.

Fuming, I went for a walk, thinking the worst. Had no one else in the tiny town fallen prey to the faulty pump? I decided I would try calling another of my brothers-in-law, one with years of car experience. Hopefully, he would have an explanation for the discrepancy. Then again, it was “only” $20. Perhaps I should just let it go instead of bothering anyone. But it was the principle of it, as Mom used to say. Right is right!

After my walk, I focused on more productive activities and didn’t get around to making the call to my other brother-in-law. I’m thankful I didn’t and equally thankful that no one answered my previous calls either.

Pertinent Details

Why? Because later that evening, I re-examined the receipt. The total gallons weren’t the only thing that didn’t add up. The timestamp was earlier than I’d stopped at the station, and the credit card listed wasn’t mine. Armed with all the details, I sheepishly realized that the person who used the pump before me hadn’t taken their receipt, leaving it for me to grab, which meant I left mine to flap in the stiff South Dakota breeze.

When the correct charge showed up on my credit card statement the next day, a simple calculation confirmed my suspicions. The rental car took 11.8 gallons of gas. The pump was accurate. No one had tried to take advantage of me.

If only I hadn’t gotten fixated on one puzzling detail and been consumed by negative thoughts, I would have saved myself a lot of time and worry.

Doubting Others

But this was just a gas station receipt. What about times when I’ve made a snap judgment about a relationship or an individual, based on incomplete information? I let my imagination run wild, assuming the worst instead of giving them the benefit of the doubt. As chastened as I was about the receipt, thinking about instances where I haven’t shown others the grace I would like to receive leaves me truly remorseful. I wish I had expressed confidence in their character, admitting I didn’t know the whole story, instead.

Doubting God

Let’s take it a step further. As bad as it is to waste time fretting about a receipt that was correct all along, or maligning a fellow image-bearer, it’s even worse when I let an event or circumstance sway my perception of God or lead me to doubt His goodness. Sadly, Scripture provides ample examples that I’m not the first of God’s children to do so. Consider these three scenarios:

  • Exodus 16 tells us that in the second month after God freed the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, they were hangry, so hangry in fact that they wished He’d left them in Egypt to die by their pots full of meat instead of dying of starvation in the wilderness (Exodus 16:3). As someone who deals with hypoglycemia, I understand getting irritable when your blood sugar drops, but God’s people allowed the rumbling of their empty stomachs to eclipse their memories of His miraculous deliverance. Despite their grumbling, God provided them with abundant food (Exodus 16:35), though not before disciplining them for their complaining (Numbers 11).
  • After two years of traveling and experiencing God’s provision, His people neared the Promised Land. Instead of trusting God’s pledge to give the land over to them, they decided to send spies, one from each tribe, into the land to scope things out first. When they returned from their mission, the spies confirmed that the land was indeed flowing with milk and honey. Still, ten of the twelve emphasized the size and strength of the inhabitants instead of the land’s bounty and God’s promise, swaying the decision of the assembly, which refused to proceed. The fateful decision and its dire consequences are recorded in Numbers, chapters 13 and 14.  
  • 1 Samuel 17 recounts another instance of God’s people cowering because of a giant. This time, it was Goliath, champion of the Philistines, who was parading around taunting King Saul and the members of his army. Then a young shepherd boy arrived on the scene. Unlike Saul and his men, David had unwavering faith in God’s ability to deliver them (1 Samuel 17:37). Moreover, he knew God would avenge His name (1 Samuel 17:46-47).

The Bigger Picture

So, dear readers, are you fixated on a detail, believing a partial story, or listening to someone’s subjective account of a situation, allowing it to influence your opinion of a fellow believer or draw you away from what you know to be true about God?

If so, endeavor to look at the whole story recorded in the Bible, the one that tells us God loved us so much that He sent His only Son to save us from our sins by paying the penalty we owed (John 3:16). Having done that, He will work everything else out for our good and not withhold any lesser thing from us (Romans 8:28,32).

Remembering all God has done for us, may we extend the same grace and compassion to others, withholding judgment when we’re not fully informed or qualified to evaluate the situation.

Dear Lord, it’s so easy for us to get waylaid by details that draw our attention away from the great big story of Your love and care for us. Please help us to dismiss the distractions that threaten to derail us. Instead, may we keep our hearts and minds focused on all we know to be true about Your goodness and faithfulness.

Too Lofty

/ Patsy Kuipers / 1 Comment

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8-9

High-altitude Hijinks

My daughter and I got off the plane that brought us from Atlanta and headed to baggage claim in the Albuquerque airport. I usually walk at a brisk pace, a trait that led my daughters to describe it as my “airport walk,” and declare on many occasions as they were growing up, “Mom, slow down! We don’t need to airport walk!”

But on that afternoon in Albuquerque, my body was the one pleading for me to slow down. Heart pounding and breathing labored, my backpack felt more like a rucksack army recruits are required to carry on long hikes instead of the lightweight bag I’d packed when I left home.

Flights don’t usually have that effect on me. What was going on? And then it dawned on me.

“Jessie, do you know the altitude here?”

When my daughter replied that she didn’t, I turned to Google and discovered that Albuquerque, at 5,312’, is the highest metropolitan city in the US, slightly surpassing mile-high Denver.

That discovery led to more googling for symptoms. Elevated heart rate and increased breathing rate were at the top of the list. Relieved to know I hadn’t contracted a fast-acting ailment on the flight, I slowed down. There would be no airport walking for me in the heat and heights that provided the backdrop for our adventures over the following days as we traveled to Flagstaff (6821’), visited the Grand Canyon (7000’), and hiked several trails at Joshua Tree National Park (average 3000’).

I wondered if people who live at elevations above 5000’ adjust. More googling. Why, yes, they do. In addition to the short-term adjustments I experienced, people who make their homes at high altitudes undergo even bigger changes, including increased production of red blood cells, improved oxygen utilization, and increased lung capacity.

Trouble, Trouble Everywhere

By now, you may be wondering where I’m going with all this. My consternation over current events merged with my newfound knowledge of the effects of high altitude, reminding me of the introductory passage above from Isaiah.

Though I limit my consumption of news, even a glance at the headlines informs me of natural disasters, wars, and other calamities. But I don’t have to watch the news to be disquieted or find things to be concerned about. Members of the small congregation at the church I belong to have experienced a variety of challenges this year. Surgeries, deaths of loved ones, the hospitalization of a months-old baby because of seizures, and a young mother diagnosed with cancer – our prayer list grows with each request for supplication.

Like the rarefied air at high elevations stressed my physical body, these events, both near and far, can leave me breathless spiritually and emotionally, wondering, “Why are these things happening to people who love You, Lord? What’s next?”

Slowing Down, Shifting Focus

Just as I had to slow down and up my water intake on our vacation, I need to slow down and drink deeply of God’s word to recalibrate my thinking. Like the lasting changes that occur in the bodies of those who live at higher altitudes, the powerful indwelling Spirit will use scriptures, living and active, to transform my mind, making it easier for me to discern God’s will (Romans 12:2).

Even so, as a finite being, God’s thoughts and ways will always be higher than mine. Thus, I pray to be like David, who declared that he did not occupy himself with things too great for him, but was depending on the Lord, quietly and calmly, acknowledging his limitations and trusting in God’s sovereignty (Psalm 131:1-3).

Dear readers, we, too, can trust the Lord, regardless of what’s going on in our lives or around the world. As we focus on all we know about His character and cling to the assurances found in His promises, knowing He’ll keep every one of them, our anxieties will subside and we’ll breathe easier (Psalm 94:19).

Promises to Ponder

  • God will never leave or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8).
  • Jesus is preparing a place for us and will return to take us to be with Him (John 14:2-3).
  • God is making all things new, including us (2 Corinthians 5:17; Revelation 21:5).
  • God works all things together for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28).
  • God provides sufficient grace in our times of trials (2 Corinthians 12:9).
  • The Lord is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).

When things become particularly perplexing, I remind myself this world isn’t all there is:

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

Like God Himself, the beauty and perfection of the eternal things are too lofty for us to comprehend!

Dear Lord, there are so many things we don’t understand. You are high and lifted up, yet You also live with those who are humble. Please help us to remember that You are sovereign over all and that You are moving history toward a magnificent conclusion, as You work all things together for our good and Your glory.

Eleven Years

/ Patsy Kuipers / 2 Comments

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.
Colossians 3:23-24

Dear Readers,

July 1 marks the eleventh anniversary of my start in the blogging world. Buoyed by a lifelong love of writing, years of journaling, and a desire to tell others about God’s faithfulness, I began Back 2 the Garden. I wasn’t sure if anyone would be interested in reading what I wrote or how long I would continue. All I knew was that God had given me a lifetime of examples of His goodness and an ability to craft stories, an ability I longed to use for His glory.

Writing can be a lonely endeavor. There have been many times when my words were met with silence, and I wondered if they mattered or if I should even keep writing. Inevitably, during those times, the Lord would nudge someone to comment on how one of my posts had helped them, and I would keep writing, reminding myself that I’m responsible for using the gift God has given me, trusting Him for the outcome.

So, here I am, eleven years and nearly 300 posts later, still plugging along. I like to think that my writing has improved over the years, as I’ve taken classes, practiced my craft, and labored over finding just the right words to convey the message behind each post. Still, the goal of glorifying God and encouraging others remains the same.

Some of you have been reading my posts from the beginning, while others of you are more recent visitors. Regardless of your tenure, thank you! I pray you’ll always leave feeling happy you stopped by, having found at least one seed of hope-filled truth to plant in your spiritual garden.  

And here, with a few edits, is the post that started it all on July 1, 2014:

Consider it pure joy

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
James 1:2-3

It was February 1998, and I was feeling anything but joyful. Ten months before, my beloved husband, Ray, had died of a massive heart attack a few weeks after his 39th birthday. Even though I was a rational person and knew all too well the details of what had happened, on some level, I maintained a protective mantle of denial. I couldn’t accept or fathom how he could go to work one sunny spring Saturday and never return home to me and our two young daughters. But bit by bit, the reality dripped into my soul, creating an underlying sadness that colored many of my days.

In preparing for Ray’s funeral, I wrote a letter to him, which one of our pastors read during the service. Among other comments, I stated that he’d not only left a lasting legacy in the lives of our daughters, but also in the beauty of our garden. You see, Ray had a horticulture degree, and he planted many interesting things in our yard. He would tell me about the special plants he selected and teach me their names. Although he didn’t shun better-known plants like pansies and daffodils, he was also interested in having unique items. When several of his horticulture colleagues paid a visit and walked the garden with me after Ray died, oohing and ahhing over various specimens, I took note all over again how special that part of his legacy was. I also recognized how important it was for me to learn how to take care of it; otherwise, it would only be a matter of time before it was gone.

And so that February day found me outside, preparing to remove the blanket of leaves that still enshrouded the planting beds, with an aching in my heart as I longed for Ray and wished he were there to help me remove those leaves. As I started clearing the beds, I noticed a number of the perennials Ray planted were beginning to emerge from the soil. Seeing those plants and knowing they had persevered through the cold, dark winter gave me a glimmer of hope. If they could make it through that stark season, maybe I could survive my season of darkness.

Little did I know, gardening would become my passion, providing many moments of hope and healing, as well as a very real connection to Ray. Not only has God faithfully provided for me and my family since Ray’s death, but He has ministered to me over and over again through the beauty of his creation. While “playing in the dirt”, I’ve been reminded of his promises, seen tangible examples of Scriptural principles, and found solace for my soul.

This blog is born of a desire to share some of what I’ve learned spiritually and horticulturally. I hope you’ll come back to the garden with me.

Awesome God

/ Patsy Kuipers / 2 Comments

For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods. In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land. Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!
Psalm 95:3-6

I recently spent several days vacationing in the Southwest. I flew into Albuquerque and out of Las Vegas. In between, I put over 1000 miles on a rental car, visiting sites that left me awestruck and constantly using words like incredible, majestic, and vast, and their synonyms in a feeble attempt to describe the wonders that unfolded before me.

As I traversed parts of New Mexico, Arizona, California, and Nevada with my family, observing one magnificent sight after another, several thoughts replayed:

  • The scale is totally different from what I’m used to in Georgia. Everything was massive and open. We could see for miles and felt dwarfed by rock formations, canyons, and deserts.
  • What must the first inhabitants have thought when they reached the edge of imposing topographical features like the Grand Canyon or the Mojave Desert? The same with the settlers who came after them. Did they have an “uh oh!” moment and think about turning back? And how about those who built the railways and roads? It took tremendous effort to get across the rugged terrain.
  • Plant life was less varied and sparser than at home, yet I marveled that anything could survive in such harsh conditions.

But one thought surpassed them all and provided recurring background lyrics for our journey: “How great Thou art, Lord! How great Thou art!” Though I often think that when working in my garden, surrounded by colorful flowers, lush greenery, busy bees, and beautiful butterflies, the grandeur of the sites we visited gave me a greater sense of God’s supremacy, omnipotence, and boundlessness. Like Job, I confessed, “Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you? I lay my hand on my mouth.” (Job 40:4)

The more I’ve pondered the sights I was privileged to see, the more I realize that the answers to all my wonderings come back to God, the One who spoke this beautiful world into existence, who imparted wisdom to those created in His image so that we might problem solve, build, tend, and persevere, and who sustains even the tiniest plants in the harshest conditions.

Photographs can never do justice to the beautiful sights they represent. Still, I hope they, and the verses I’ve chosen to accompany them, will encourage you to magnify the Lord with me as we exalt His name together (Psalm 34:3).

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable (Isaiah 40:28).

Behold, these are but the outskirts of his ways, and how small a whisper do we hear of him! But the thunder of his power who can understand (Job 26:14)?

Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit (Psalm 145:7).

When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him (Psalm 8:3-4)?

Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty? They are higher than the heavens – what can you do? They are deeper than the depths of the grave – what can you know? Their measure is longer than the earth and wider than the sea (Job 11:7-9).

“Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, or weighed the mountains on the scales and the hills in a balance (Isaiah 40:12)?

I will extol you, my God and King,
and bless your name forever and ever.
Every day I will bless you
and praise your name forever and ever.
Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised,
and his greatness is unsearchable.
One generation shall commend your works to another,
and shall declare your mighty acts.
On the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and on your wondrous works, I will meditate.
Psalm 145:1-5

Homesick

/ Patsy Kuipers / Leave a comment

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
Philippians 1:21

To Stay or Go?

Many Christians have a life verse that sums up their calling and motivates them in their walk with the Lord. I have so many verses that sustain me depending on what I’m going through that I long thought it would be impossible to pick just one. I finally realized Philippians 1:21 was it.

After the Apostle Paul made the bold declaration recorded in that verse, he went on to say:

If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account (Philippians 1:22-24).

Paul was in a Roman prison when he wrote the letter to the believers in Philippi. Surely, he would have been better off had the Lord delivered him by calling him Home, yet he was willing to stay for the sake of the gospel and his brothers and sisters in Christ.

Holding on for Our Sake

I thought of this passage multiple times as I sat by Mom’s bedside as she spent the last days of her life in the hospital. I can’t imagine the pain she was in or how much she suffered, physically and emotionally, after she had surgery to repair her hip, broken in a fall. She was barely ever still, and the bruises from the fall, her surgery, and multiple blood draws created a pitiful patchwork on her paper-thin skin.

Those caring for her marveled that one so tiny could endure so much. Yet those of us who knew Mom best recognized the determination that had kept her going when faced with difficulties throughout her life, based on her faith and summarized in her life verse: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13). After loving us so well for so long, it was as if she didn’t want to leave us, even though it would have been so much better for her to depart and be with her Savior.

Letting Go of Loved Ones

Mom was my best friend, lifelong cheerleader, and most ardent prayer warrior. I couldn’t imagine life without her, much less praying for the Lord to call her Home. Even so, after watching her struggle mightily without making any progress toward recovery, that’s precisely what I did.

Still, she lingered. It was only days, but they were days that felt like months, as one dissolved into another. A friend observed, “Maybe there’s one more person for the Lord to touch with her life.” Perhaps there was.

Mom passed away ten days after she fell. She had fought the good fight, finished the race, and was pain-free in the presence of Jesus at last. I rejoiced in her victory over death, secured by the blood of Christ (1 Corinthians 15:54-57).

Longing for Home

I recently had the opportunity to visit my childhood home. When the current owner noticed my second slow drive-by, she came out to see what was up. As I approached her in the driveway, I introduced myself and apologized for bothering her. I was so overcome with emotion that I could barely speak the words: “I grew up in this house.”

I didn’t ask to go in, but even after exiting the house for the last time 37 years ago, I can still envision the exact layout of the rooms, as well as the furnishings. And when my dreams feature a house I’ve lived in, it’s always that one, despite the fact I’ve lived in my current home almost three times as long.

Pondering the wave of emotion that swept over me as I stood in front of my childhood home has led me to wonder what it will be like when I get to my forever Home, the one Jesus is preparing for me (John 14:2-3). I bet it will feel familiar and oh-so-perfect because, as C.S. Lewis said, “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”

Promised Reunion

Mom and Dad, my husband, baby sister, grandparents, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters-in-law, friends – the list of loved ones who’ve gone on to Glory keeps growing. Just as watching loved ones suffer changes our perspective, making it easier to let them go, having more loved ones in Heaven makes it even dearer. Though being in the presence of Christ is enough to fuel our desire to depart and be with Him, the assurance of a grand reunion adds to our longing for Home.

I began with my life verse, and I will end with one of my very favorite passages, one that gives us that assurance and makes me want to shout, “Hallelujah! I can’t wait!” whenever I read it:

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:1-4).

Dear Lord, we long to be with You and rejoice in knowing that one day You will call us Home to live with You forever. Until that day, please help us be faithful to walk worthy of Christ’s gospel and diligent in completing the good works You’ve prepared for us.

Joys and Sorrows, Past and Present

/ Patsy Kuipers / 2 Comments

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

Missing Mom

I’m never sure how anniversaries and special occasions associated with now-departed loved ones will affect me. For some reason, the sorrow of facing another Mother’s Day, my fifth, without my beloved mother weighed heavily on me this year.

The floral shop is one of the first things I see when I enter the grocery store I frequent each week. I usually stroll by casually, perusing the pretty flowers and checking out the clearance section. After all, a bedraggled houseplant might need a home. However, on my shopping expedition a few days before Mother’s Day, I walked by briskly, trying not to gaze too long at the department overflowing with beautiful bouquets and cheerful balloons. I concentrated on my list instead of the fact that I wouldn’t be picking out anything for Mom. My heart ached knowing her sweet little self would have loved anything and everything I selected.

Timely Reminders

I returned home, put away my groceries, and opened my laptop to check email while I sipped the Starbucks tea I’d treated myself to. Fortunately, before I slipped any further into my melancholy musings, Tim Challies’ post, “Proud of Her on Mother’s Day,” caught my eye. Tim’s recounting of how his wife has graciously and faithfully carried on since the sudden death of their oldest child several years ago served as a gentle exhortation from the Lord. These lines, in particular, resonated with me: 

(S)he doesn’t allow herself to sink into her grief and become incapacitated by it. She has just one life to live and only the present moment to live it. She has determined she will not allow the sorrow of the sorrows to overwhelm the joy of the joys . . . Why miss the joys for grief? Why allow one great sorrow to overwhelm so many blessings great and small?[1]

His statement reminded me, in turn, of a favorite Elisabeth Elliot quote, “Teach me never to let the joy of what has been pale the joy of what is.”

Refocusing

Grief is too complicated to reduce to a glass-half-full or half-empty mindset. Still, instead of allowing myself to focus on Mom’s absence, I endeavored to focus on the blessing of having a godly mother whose presence graced my life for 62 years, whose steadfast faith and ardent prayers shaped my existence, whose love I still feel every day, and whose mottos come to mind daily as well.

Likewise, when I gathered with my children and grandchildren, fortified with the timely reminders from Tim and Elisabeth, I did not let the sorrow of loss overshadow the joyful blessings of the present. I gratefully received my family’s charming expressions of affection – hugs, cards, both handmade and store-bought, and a delicious lunch prepared and served with love.

Family Blessings

As He often does in His over-and-above ways (Ephesians 3:20), God added a special surprise to my day. One of my nephews and his wife were in the area visiting her family on Saturday, and they stayed over to join us for church and lunch. Not only did they add to the joy and laughter of our celebration, but they also shared the happy news that they’re expecting a baby later this year.

The cycle of births and deaths will continue until Jesus returns. We will grieve the loss of loved ones and welcome new little ones, knowing that one day, we’ll be together in the presence of God, reunited forever. We’ll get to know generations of family members and marvel and rejoice at the way God wove us into His family and His great big story. Until then, may we treasure the memories of those who have gone before us while savoring the present with those who fill our lives now.

Dear Lord, thank You for the blessing of family, whether immediate or distant, by blood, by marriage, or by faith, present physically or in our memories. And let us never forget the privilege of being your beloved children, for that is who we are in Christ (John 1:12).

[1] “Proud of Her on Mother’s Day,” Tim Challies, Challies.com, May 9, 2025.

Faithful God

/ Patsy Kuipers / 2 Comments

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Deuteronomy 31:8

Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.
(Deuteronomy 7:9)

Benefits of Aging?

This spring, our women’s Bible study has been working through Aging With Grace, Flourishing in an Anti-Aging Culture by Sharon Betters and Susan Hunt. Each time we meet, we begin with announcements and an ice-breaker. Last time, our question was, “Name one advantage or blessing you associate with aging.”

Some of us chuckled since it’s more common to have a litany of complaints instead of a list of blessings when it comes to aging – sagging skin, aching joints, a decrease in stamina, and an increase in episodes of “What was I looking for when I came into this room?” to name a few. But I knew my answer immediately because I’ve said it countless times in recent years: One of my favorite things about getting older is having more and more examples of God’s faithfulness to add to my mental file folder.

Sovereign Over Every Detail

In my last post, “April, A Month of Contrasts,” I described how difficult the last two weeks of April are because of the anniversaries of my husband’s and mother’s deaths. This year, I’ve been more intentional than usual about remembering Mom’s final days, motivated in part by coming alongside friends who are walking loved ones through health crises. It’s been a painful reminiscence because of the tremendous suffering Mom endured after she fell and broke her hip. However, as I’ve thought back to the ten days between her fall and Homegoing, Facebook memories and journal entries have reminded me how God continually went before us in details and decisions, both minute and massive.

A few examples:

Prayer and a Sack Lunch. I have hypoglycemia and usually carry food with me based on which meals or snacks I’ll need while I’m away from home. The morning Mom broke her hip, I was intent on getting to the hospital as soon as I could, so I  barely ate breakfast, much less took time to pack any food for later in the day. A brief conversation with the technician who came to X-ray Mom’s hip revealed he was a fellow Christian. I asked him to pray for us, which he did on the spot. I also explained my food dilemma and asked where I could get something to eat. He said vending machines were the only option in the emergency department because the cafeteria was in the main hospital, separated from the ED by a maze of corridors and locked doors. A short while later, when I thought I’d have to subsist on crackers, chips, and soda, the technician returned with a sack lunch from the employee break room, enough nourishment to keep me going until they transferred Mom to the main hospital.

A Well-placed Physician. Once the X-ray confirmed the fracture, we were faced with two equally daunting options: Agree to surgery to repair the hip and risk losing Mom outright or let the hip heal on its own, knowing she’d probably never be able to stand up or walk again. I accompanied Mom when they moved her from the ED, and who did I see making his rounds right outside Mom’s room? The very orthopedist she’d been seeing for several years about severe pain in her knees. Incredulous but grateful for the God-ordained encounter, I briefly explained what had happened and asked Dr. Chen to look at Mom’s X-ray. He did. Then, without hesitation, he said she needed the surgery and confirmed she’d most likely be bedridden and wheelchair-bound without it. Seeing how adamant he was after being equally adamant for years that he wouldn’t risk doing knee surgery on Mom helped us understand how high the stakes were and informed the first of many difficult decisions we’d have to make.

Daily Directions. Mom made it through the surgery, but ultimately, the trauma she experienced from the fall and operation was too much for her tiny body to handle. Our initial goal of getting her back home evolved as challenges mounted. In a matter of days, we went from approving PT and OT to authorizing palliative care. We requested the nurses stop drawing Mom’s blood and checking her vitals because the procedures increased her agitation. Finally, we determined to bring her home with hospice care. There was no opening for the in-home option that day, but a room was available at Tranquility, the in-patient hospice facility. In that aptly-named haven, away from the ever-present noise and activity of the hospital, Mom finally got to rest. Barely 24 hours after her arrival, she slipped peacefully into the presence of Jesus.

Doubts Dismissed

Ten days from Mom’s fall to her Homegoing. It seemed so much longer. Days ran into nights, which ran into more days, all filled with one gut-wrenching decision after another. Could I have done more? Should I have made different choices? I expressed my doubts and misgivings to our pastor a few weeks after Mom’s death. He replied, “Your leadership brought about a God-honoring, peaceful end for your mother, surrounded by her family.”

I know that leadership was only possible because the Lord went before me, directing and redirecting me the entire time. He answered my prayers for wisdom (James 1:5) and heard the petitions of the multitude praying for us.

Extensive Evidence

Examples of God’s faithfulness during Mom’s final days reside among myriad other examples amassed over 28 years of widowhood, including 14 years of His faithful provision since I lost my job. They support and reinforce my testimony: God is faithful. We can trust Him to keep all His promises. He’ll never leave or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8).

When we stand at the entrance to a dark valley filled with trials, we don’t know how long or deep it will be, but Jesus does. Not only does He understand the way we must take, but He will also travel the path with us (Hebrews 4:15-16). And, when it’s our turn to face the final valley of the shadow of death, we can rest assured that we will come out safely on the other side because our gentle Shepherd has gone before us to make a way (Psalm 23:4; John 10:27-29). He will lead us into the eternal light of His presence (Revelation 22:5).

April, A Month of Contrasts

/ Patsy Kuipers / 2 Comments

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.
Revelation 21:4

Mourning

Inevitably, when the calendar turns to April, an undercurrent of melancholy seeps into my soul, regardless of what’s going on in my life. The seeds of sorrow were planted in the past and ripen into tears this time of year. I’ve lost several dear relatives in the month of April, including a great-aunt, an uncle, and a sister-in-law.

The most life-changing April losses were the deaths of my husband and mother. On April 19, 1997, Ray, barely 39 years old, left for work on a beautiful spring day, had a fatal heart attack, and never returned home, leaving me to raise our two young daughters on my own. On April 20, 2021, my 89-year-old mother fell, broke her hip, and passed into Glory ten days later after suffering unimaginable pain and frequent delirium.

The day Mom broke her hip was my dad’s 90th birthday. He joined her in the presence of Jesus in the wee hours of July 12, 2023, but no longer being able to celebrate his April birthday or watch the last round of the Masters golf tournament with him, as was our tradition, adds to the angst of this month.  

Never Forsaken

Those direct, just-the-facts descriptions of the bereavements belie the emotional punch each one packs. Every year, I’m intentional in remembering my last days with Ray and my first days without him. The numbness, inability to think clearly, and wondering how I’d ever make it without him colored my days. Now, in looking back, I see that God never left me then or in all the years since (Psalm 68:5).

I don’t spend as much time contemplating Mom’s final days. Being in so much pain was agonizing for her. Seeing her in so much pain was heartbreaking for those of us who kept vigil by her bedside. But I know we weren’t the only ones keeping watch over Mom. Her suffering Savior had endured even more, understood the pain, and never forsook her (Isaiah 53:4; Deuteronomy 31:6).

Joy

Despite the melancholy memories associated with the fourth month, April is also full of hope and joy. Here in Georgia, spring has arrived. The plants have woken up from their winter slumber. Trees are bedecked in fresh leaves, azaleas and dogwoods are blooming, and more flowers are popping up daily. It’s as if all creation is praising the Creator and mirroring the Resurrection story (Psalm 96:11-12).

April is also the month we usually celebrate Easter. Some years, my intentional reminiscences of Ray’s last days and Jesus’ final week overlap. Such is the case this year. As I remember my closing days with Ray, I will be thinking about all Jesus endured for us. A week that began with the Triumphal Entry quickly degenerated into betrayal, unjust trials, condemnation, beatings, mocking, and, ultimately, a gruesome death. The 28th anniversary of Ray’s Homegoing falls on the day before Easter, the glorious day that Jesus rose from the grave and changed everything forever (Matthew 28:6).

This week, as I engage in my annual tradition of remembering departed loved ones, I will rejoice in knowing that death doesn’t get the final say. The separation from God and beloved family members and friends is only temporary because Jesus paid the penalty we deserved so that we might spend eternity with Him.

So, I will shed some tears this week. Some will be borne of sorrow, some of wonder at God’s great love in sending His Son to die for us (John 3:16). I will revel in the beauty all around me, knowing it is but a glimpse of the beauty that awaits. And I will endeavor to add my hallelujahs to the chorus of praise because He is Risen! He is Risen indeed, and we are risen with Him! (Ephesians 2:6)

Pollen Season 2025

/ Patsy Kuipers / 2 Comments

Dear Readers,

I wrote “Pollen Season” in the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic as a reminder that God is not only sovereign, but He will also keep His promises to us. Thankfully, we’re not facing a pandemic these days, but we’re all facing concerns of varying magnitudes, so I decided to dust off my original post (pun intended 😉) and replace the photos accompanying the verses with ones I’ve taken recently. I hope you’ll enjoy this updated version.

Yellow Invasion

I first noticed the yellow dusting atop my trash can. Then it appeared on my dark blue CR-V. Soon, the deck was covered, as were my shoes after I strolled my property. What might the stealthy invader be? Pine pollen!

I usually grimace when I detect the initial signs of yellowness that descend on our area each spring, knowing what lies ahead. Depending on how much rainfall we get, the layer of pollen can become so thick tire tracks materialize on driveways and footprints on sidewalks. Some years, I watch incredulously as windblown clouds drift off pines, destined to coat everything in their path. Nothing is immune from the intruder.

Although I join the communal carping about everything being covered in yellow, seeing the first signs of the pollen’s return makes me smile because it reminds me that God is keeping the covenant promise He made to Noah, his offspring, and every living creature. “While earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.” (Genesis 8:22)

In the years since COVID-19, the opening salvo reminds me of those challenging days and how God was with us through them, how He will be with us to the end of the age (Matthew 28:20).

Springtime Glories

The yellow intrusion also heralds the arrival of spring, that glorious season when all creation seems to shout “Hallelujah” to the King.

In the midst of whatever uncertainties we’re facing, spring returns, full of hope and visible reminders of God’s goodness. I’ll let photos, scripture passages, and hymn lyrics do the talking for the rest of this post – my offering of praise to the One who lovingly sustains us, my encouragement to you, my readers and fellow sojourners.

“Fairest Lord Jesus, Ruler of all nature, O Thou of God and man the Son; Thee will I cherish, Thee will I honor, Thou my soul’s glory, joy, and crown. Fair are the meadows, Fairer still the woodlands, Robed in the blooming garb of spring: Jesus is fairer, Jesus is purer, Who makes the woeful heart to sing.”[1]

Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. (Matthew 6:28a-29)

“O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder Consider all the words They hands have made, I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder, Thy pow’r  throughout the universe displayed. When thro’ the woods and forest glades I wander And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees, When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur, And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze. Then sings my soul, my Saviour God, to Thee; How great Thou art, how great Thou art! Then sings my soul, my Savior God, to Thee: How great Thou art, how great Thou art!”[2]

I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify him with thanksgiving . . . Let heaven and earth praise him, the seas and everything that moves in them. (Psalm 69:30, 34)

The heavens are yours; the earth also is yours; the world and all that is in it, you have founded them. (Psalm 89:11)

“This is my Father’s world, And to my listening ears All nature sings, and round me rings The music of the spheres. This is my Father’s world: I rest me in the thought Of rocks and trees, of skies and seas – His hands the wonders wrought. This is my Father’s world, The birds their carols raise, The morning light, the lily white, Declare their Maker’s praise. This is my Father’s world: He shines in all that’s fair; In the rustling grass I hear Him pass, He speaks to me everywhere.”[3]

For you, O Lord, have made me glad by your work; at the works of your hands I sing for joy. (Psalm 92:4)

Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth.  Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing! Know that the Lord, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his;we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name! For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations. (Psalm 100)

The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you. (Psalm 9:10)

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by. (Psalm 57:1)

Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever . . . for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord God my refuge, that I may tell of all your works. (Psalm 73:25-26; 28)

[1] “Fairest Lord Jesus”, anonymous German Hymn, stanzas 1 and 2.

[2] “How Great Thou Art”, stanzas 1 and 2 and chorus; Stuart K. Hine, 1953.

[3] “This is My Father’s World”, stanzas 1 and 2; Maltbie D. Babcock.

Encouragement for Weary Souls

/ Patsy Kuipers / 2 Comments

Dear Readers,

I have several friends who are navigating serious health issues with loved ones. Their journeys remind me of the challenging paths I walked with Mom and Dad in the final months of their lives. Yet the memories are also laced with Scripture passages that sustained me during those trying times. As I’ve shared them with my friends, I’ve recalled how powerful the promises of God are. I expect some, maybe many, of you are on an arduous journey of your own, so I decided to fashion this week’s post from the passages I not only clung to then but also return to when other difficult situations arise. It is my prayer that one or more of them will provide the hope you need in the days ahead. 

New Mercies

But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:21-23

I was often mentally, physically, and emotionally spent by the time nightfall arrived each day, but every morning, I would imagine the Lord had refilled my bucket overnight so that it was overflowing with His mercies for that day.  

Eyes Fixed

For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you (2 Chronicles 20:12b).

There were so many decisions I needed to make regarding Mom and Dad’s care, some of them downright gut-wrenching. I thought of the decisions being the great horde coming against me, and I prayed Jehoshaphat’s prayer – Lord, I don’t know what to do, but my eyes are fixed on You – repeatedly, sometimes multiple times a day, seeking wisdom from the Lord.

Light and Momentary

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).

When we’re in the midst of trying circumstances, the affliction doesn’t feel light or momentary, but for those who love the Lord, we know He’s working all things together for our good and is fitting us for our heavenly Home (Romans 8:28-30).

Weary

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up (Galatians 6:9).

Sometimes the journey feels so long. You don’t know if you can keep going, at least not in the right spirit, without becoming frustrated or resentful. I asked people to pray that I wouldn’t become weary in doing good so I could honor my parents and God, who entrusted their care to me. I longed to reap the harvest of helping them finish their earthly lives with dignity.

Gentle Savior

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30).

We are blessed to have a gentle Savior who understands our frailties and offers rest for our souls. He has promised never to leave or forsake us (Matthew 28:20b).

Comfort Others

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

As citizens of Heaven sojourning in a world marred by sin, there will be instances when we or our loved ones don’t get the diagnosis or outcome we hope for. At such times, we can rest in the assurance that Jesus is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalm 34:18). He comforts us so that we may comfort others and point them to the hope we’ve found in His steadfast love and faithfulness.

Ultimate Hope

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” And he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. (Revelation 21:1-6a).

Whenever I read this passage, I want to shout, “Hallelujah! I can’t wait!” No more tears or death or mourning or crying or pain – that’s what God’s beloved children have to look forward to because He will indeed make all things new!

It will be four years next month since the Lord called Mom Home and two years in July since Dad joined her. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss them, but I wouldn’t wish them back from Paradise. Instead, I look forward to spending eternity with them in the presence of Jesus. Until then, I will cling to God’s promises and endeavor to keep my eyes fixed on Him. I pray you will do the same. May you find great hope in these and other passages.