Amazing Grace

One Piece

/ Patsy Kuipers / 4 Comments

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. 
Psalm 46:1-3

A Song from the Past

Lyrics from the Wayne Watson song, “Hard Times,” have been replaying in my mind recently, not as an annoying melody that I can’t get out of my head, but as a gentle reminder of an eternal promise –  the Lord will never leave me or forsake me:

Hey, did I hear you say
You’ve fallen on some hard times?
That your dreams are crushed
And scattered to the wind
And if there’s a someday
When the pain will be forgotten
Right now, it’s too much
For your heart to comprehend

You say you wish that you
Could get back to the good times
Back when life and love
And plans fell into place
Before the floods came
Before the dam started breaking
Back when the waves kept their distance
From your faith

But in the hard times
When your world has gone to pieces
You pick up the one piece
That matters most
’Cause in hard times
You learn to hold on to Jesus
Oh, there’s no other place
To know the strength of your faith
But in the hard times[1]

When we moved to Georgia in 1992, it felt like the pieces of my life were scattered. My husband, two little girls, and I left our home, church, and friends, some of whom we’d known for years during our time in Delaware. But, by the time the song came out the following year, we were settling into our new community, church, school, and work routines. We chose a home close to church, the girls’ school, and Ray’s employer, which meant I had a 63-mile drive one-way to my job. Instead of a burden, though, my commute gave me some uninterrupted time with the Lord. I sometimes quipped, “The Lord took away the support system I had in Delaware, but He gave me Himself and an hourlong drive to Dalton.”

I spent the drive time praying and listening to contemporary Christian artists like Wayne Watson. The combination of music plus truth ensured the concepts they sang about were securely planted in my memory.

The One Piece hadn’t remained in Delaware. He was very much with me.

More Scattered Pieces

Little did I know that the upheaval caused by the move would pale compared to what was to come in April 1997. A few weeks after his 39th birthday, Ray went to work, had a fatal heart attack, and never returned home. My partner, the person I depended on most, was gone. Left to raise our two young daughters alone, I turned to the One who promised to be a Father to the fatherless and a Defender of widows. I found Him faithful.

In December 2010, as I stood by my mom’s hospital gurney, I received news that would rock my world yet again: her heart catheterization revealed three life-threatening blockages. The attendants began prepping Mom for surgery immediately so the surgeons could get to work as soon as an operating room became available. I stood there stunned, feeling so alone. But I wasn’t alone at all. God was with me.

Late January 2011 found me sitting in a windowless conference room across from my manager and her boss. Though I anticipated a life-changing message, hearing her words still caused me to go numb. “I know you’re expecting to have your annual review, but you won’t be having it because your job has been eliminated.” Just like that, my 30-year career ended. But God had other plans, new, incredible pieces to add to my life.

Late one night in April 2019, I left Mom in the emergency department, trudged to my car, and wondered if I’d see her alive again. The doctor’s diagnosis, aspiration pneumonia, didn’t bode well for someone so tiny and frail. I tossed and turned most of the night, countering fear with all I knew to be true about God’s character. Mom made it through 24 grueling days in the hospital and rehab, and we joyfully welcomed her home.

We were blessed to have her for two more years until she fell and broke her hip in mid-April 2021. The ten days between the fall and her Homegoing were some of the most difficult I’ve ever navigated. The excruciating physical pain she felt found its counterpart in my emotional distress. Even so, the Lord was near, directing and redirecting, until the moment He called her Home.

Another Storm

And now here I am, barely six months after losing my precious mother, dealing with the after-effects of my 90-year-old father’s stroke. There are moments when I’m tempted to despair, when the thought of burying my remaining parent is too much to bear.

But then the chorus from “Hard Times” starts playing in my head, and I pick up the One Piece that matters most and hold on as tightly as I can, knowing that even if my grasp starts to fail, He’ll never loosen His grip on me.

Strength Training

The lyrics, “There’s no better way to know the strength of your faith but in hard times,” remind me of the Apostle James’ statement, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” (James 1:2) The Apostle Paul affirms and expands upon the concept in his letter to the Romans: “We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us (Romans 5:3-5).

Rejoicing in suffering and finding joy in trials is counterintuitive until you realize experiencing difficult circumstances is the best way to grow our faith because we find God to be trustworthy to keep His promises, not sometimes, but every time. I don’t know what you’re going through, dear reader. Maybe life is smooth and hassle-free at the moment, but if you’re facing hardships and challenges, I pray you’ll do what I did above. Remind yourself of times in the past when God has been with you and know He will be with you to the end, no matter what He providentially allows into your life.

Dear Lord, how I praise and thank You that You are our Rock and our Refuge, an ever-present help in times of trouble. Even if other pieces of our lives are scattered, in disarray, or missing altogether, You will never leave or forsake us.  

[1] The first two verses and chorus of “Hard Times,” released on Wayne Watson’s 1993 album, “A Beautiful Place.” Words and music by Gary and Lisa Driskell.

One Piece

Heart Check

/ Patsy Kuipers / Leave a comment

Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall.
1 Corinthians 10:12

Given the nature of my blog, I share personal stories in almost every post. At times I wonder if I share too much, but I’ve come to realize being real offers more hope and encouragement than if I sugar-coated my experiences. Occasionally though, the Lord nudges me further outside my comfort zone and impresses upon me to use a post to confess something. So, even though it makes me feel more vulnerable than usual, this is one of those posts.

The Big Dump

Over the past few months, I’ve been cleaning out my closet, gradually moving items I rarely wear to my daughter’s old room. The piles containing a mix of professional and casual apparel grew so large my grandchildren barely had space to play with the toys also located in their mom’s former room. Thus, I made a final pass through my closet one recent morning and then carefully folded and boxed everything up. I added some household items I  no longer use, loaded everything into my CR-V, and headed to a nearby donation center.

When I pulled up to the curb and told the attendant I had several boxes of items, he gestured toward a large bin and said, “You can put your stuff in there.” I set one of the larger boxes next to the container and was about to place one of the smaller ones in the bin when he said, “We don’t accept boxes.”

With that, he stepped forward, picked up the box, and dumped its contents into the receptacle. I could barely contain my horror as I watched all the neatly-folded items tumble out, followed by shoes and kitchen gadgets from the other box. The things I’d used, taken care of, and envisioned transferring in nearly-pristine condition to someone else who could use them were in a jumbled heap on top of the stuff dropped off by the person ahead of me. I almost closed the hatch of my car without unloading the rest of the boxes. And since this is a confession of sorts, I’ll admit there was a bag containing several items my dear mother gave me that I couldn’t bear to see added to the mix. When I got home, I returned them to my daughter’s old closet.

Standing Firm or Barely Standing?

Jesus’ discourse recorded in Matthew chapters 5-7 (often referred to as the Sermon on the Mount) contains some of my favorite verses in the whole Bible, including:

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal,  but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:19-21).

Though I haven’t settled on a life verse because I have so many favorites, “Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven” is in the running, so my response at the donation center surprised me. I thought about it for several days, pondering why the dumping of items I’d already decided I didn’t need anymore troubled me so. I think part of it was due to the fact Mom taught me from my earliest days to take care of my things, and seeing them treated so carelessly offended my sense of responsibility. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder if my response indicated I was overly attached to my possessions and somehow saw them as an extension of myself. Did I equate mistreatment of my stuff with mistreating me or, worse, dishonoring the memory of the one who’d given it to me?

Faithful Wounds

The Lord used my reaction to enlighten the eyes of my heart. Regardless of the reason for the hurt, angry, incredulous feelings that sprang up as I stood by the curb, their intensity indicated I am more attached to material things than I realized or wanted to admit. After all, Scripture is clear we won’t take any of those things with us when we die (1Timothy 6:6-7).[1]

Though pained by recognizing the gap between reality and how I perceive myself, I’m thankful the Spirit is faithful to point out the discrepancies. Like a trusted friend who speaks the truth in love (Proverbs 27:6a), I can count on Him to reveal my shortcomings in this and other areas (John 14:26).  But unlike a human companion, He also empowers me to make the necessary changes as He continues to sanctify me (Ephesians 1:19-20).

Have you had a heart check lately, a moment when circumstances challenged you to reevaluate how firmly you’re standing in some spiritual discipline or another? If so, rejoice as I did, knowing your conscience is alert and attentive to the prompting of the Spirit, Who is unfailingly transforming us more and more into the image of Christ (2 Corinthians 3:18).   

Dear Lord, thank You for the Spirit’s work in our lives, instructing, reminding, and empowering us. Please help us to be ever-mindful of His promptings as we endeavor to work out our salvation and glorify You in all things (Philippians 2:12-13).

[1] Please see “The Ring” in Archives, August 2018 for more on this subject.