God’s faithfulness

True Colors

/ Patsy Kuipers / Leave a comment

So we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
2 Corinthians 4:16

Leafy Lesson

Granddaughter Lyla and I were out for a walk one recent sunny afternoon. I commented on the beautiful trees, resplendent in their fall colors. Lyla replied, “Grammie, did you know the fall colors are the true colors of the leaves?” You would think I would have remembered that factoid from my horticultural studies, but I didn’t.

Intrigued, I later spent some time googling the subject. As with most fascinating tidbits of information my bright, inquisitive grandchildren share with me, Lyla’s comment was correct:

“During the warmer growing seasons, leaves produce chlorophyll to help plants create energy from light. The green pigment becomes dominant and masks the other pigments . . . trees prepare for winter and the next growing season by blocking off flow to and from a leaf’s stem. This process stops green chlorophyll from being replenished and causes the leaf’s green color to fade. The fading green allows a leaf’s true colors to emerge, producing the dazzling array of orange, yellow, red, and purple pigments we refer to as fall foliage.”[1]

Wasting Away or Renewed?

This idea resonated with me. As someone who has traversed over six decades of life, I’ve watched my outer self change significantly over the years. But last week, I celebrated my 50th spiritual birthday.

Thinking back to the day I was baptized and made a public profession of faith on that November afternoon long ago,  I realize I’ve changed as much on the inside as I have on the outside. Maybe even more so. Because God has faithfully kept His promise to transform me more and more into the image of His Son (Romans 8:29).

First, He replaced my heart of stone with a heart of flesh that could respond in faith and gratitude to my heavenly Father(Ezekiel 36:26). Then, He applied the balm of forgiveness and restoration and provided His word as a sure guide for life as a pilgrim in this world.

I cringe to think of what my insides looked like before He began the process. Even my best intentions and kindest deeds were like filthy rags apart from Him (Isaiah 64:6).

I’ve passed through fiery trials and experienced moments of great joy in the past 50 years. The Lord ordained all those experiences to aid in the necessary transformation, and He’s never left me to walk alone.

Radiant

Have you ever noticed that even after the leaves have changed colors, they’re pretty but not truly radiant unless the sun is shining on them? Oh, but when the sun is out, the leaves are so vibrant the trees look like they’re ablaze. On days like that, I repeatedly exclaim, sometimes to myself and sometimes out loud, “The trees are so beautiful! Thank You, Lord!”

Likewise, our beauty is more radiant when we walk in the Light of the One who called us out of darkness (1 Peter 2:9). As we behold the glory of the Lord and the beauty of the Gospel, we are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another (2 Corinthians 3:18), making it possible to be lights in this world shining before others for the Lord’s glory (Matthew 5:14-16). How amazing!

Hanging On

While their deciduous relatives are busy putting on a colorful fall display, some oak trees hold onto their old, brown leaves all winter. It takes the new leaves’ emergence the following year to finally nudge them off, life replacing death. And so it will be with me. No matter how brightly my true colors shine in this life, vestiges of the old, sinful me will remain until I’m called Home.

Yet, even now, God considers me His child, though my full potential and future glory haven’t been revealed. And so it is with all of His children. We rest in the assurance that when Jesus appears, we will be like Him because we will see Him as He is (1 John 3:2).

Creased and Crinkled

There are mornings when I look in the mirror and wonder if the wrinkle gremlin visited overnight and created a few more folds on my face. Days when I look at photos of myself and realize my eyes have almost disappeared into the creases surrounding them when I smile. It can be disheartening at times.

And then I remember that charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised (Proverbs 31:30), that the Lord does not see as man sees, but looks on the heart (1 Samuel 16:7b), that we’re to cultivate the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in God’s sight (1 Peter 3:3-4).

My heart overflows with gratitude. I marvel at the fact God chose me before the foundation of the world to be His child (Ephesians 1:4), called me to Himself 50 years ago, and has given me ample reasons and opportunities to testify to His faithfulness in my life.

I look forward to the day when the transformation is complete. Until then, I pray He will help the true Christ-like colors He’s painted inside me to grow increasingly radiant, even as my outer self is wasting away.

I will greatly rejoice in the Lord;
my soul shall exult in my God
for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation;
he has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress,
and a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
Isaiah 61:10

[1] Cool autumn weather reveals nature’s true hues, noaa.gov, October 1, 2014.

A Reassured Heart

/ Patsy Kuipers / 5 Comments

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.
John 14:27

Sometimes, I need to preach truth to myself. This is one of those times. I don’t know about you, but despite my best efforts not to get mired down in the election bruhaha, a sense of dread has seeped into my psyche as the day draws near. From political texts blowing up my phone to interminable campaign commercials zipping by as I fast-forward past them and even comic strips, I can’t escape the ever-present signs that the event is barreling down on us.

Thus, multiple times a day, I reground myself with what I know to be true. I thought I would use today’s post to share some passages and promises that help me maintain the proper perspective in case some of you might also benefit from the reminders.

God is Sovereign. Nothing will thwart His plans.

The Lord has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all (Psalm 103:19).

Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases (Psalm 115:3).

Whatever the LORD pleases, he does, in heaven and on earth, in the seas and all deeps (Psalm 135:6).

The Lord of hosts has sworn: “As I have planned, so shall it be, and as I have purposed, so shall it stand”. . . For the Lord of hosts has purposed, and who will annul it? His hand is stretched out, and who will turn it back (Isaiah 14:24, 27)?

He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in. He brings princes to naught and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing (Isaiah 40:22-23, NIV).

We’re not alone in times of distress.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10).

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 28:38-39).

We know the end of the story.

Both sides would have us believe that if the nominees from the other party win, the world as we know it will come to an end. One day, the world as we know it will end, but what a glorious day that will be!

Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:1-4)

Until then, we can live with the assurance that King Jesus is seated on the throne at His Father’s right hand (Luke 22:69-70). Seated, not pacing about or wringing His hands, or wondering what tomorrow will bring because God has ordained the end from the beginning and is ruling over every detail to accomplish His purposes until that end, just as He always has (Isaiah 46:9-10).

Therefore, let us fix our hearts and our hope on His unchanging character (Hebrews 13:8), His trustworthy promises (2 Corinthians 1:20), and His steadfast love (Psalm 103:8), not on earthly rulers or kingdoms.

Epilog

As I’ve been working on this piece, I realized that some of you who’ll read it aren’t facing an election or being bombarded by the messaging that goes along with it. But I’m guessing there may be something else that’s causing a sense of disquietude in your soul. The good news is that everything I’ve written can be applied to all sorts of worry-producing circumstances, so may we say with the psalmist, “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” (Psalm 42:11)

Have We Forgotten?

/ Patsy Kuipers / Leave a comment

Yet the number of the children of Israel shall be like the sand of the sea, which cannot be measured or numbered. And in the place where it was said to them, “You are not my people,” it shall be said to them, “Children of the living God.”
Hosea 1:10

A Challenging Message

This fall, we’re using Paula Miles’ “No Empty Word: Relentless Pursuit a Study on Hosea” for our Women’s Bible study. We’ve agreed that Hosea is a challenging book, not the first one we think of when in need of a comforting verse to put on a counted cross stitch. God didn’t hold back when proclaiming what would happen if His people refused to forsake their wicked ways and return to Him. Some of us have even found it difficult to read parts of Hosea aloud since it contains words we wouldn’t dare utter in conversation.

However, as the study has progressed, we’ve realized there is much comfort in Hosea because it recounts God’s unending love and compassion for His wayward people. Time and again, Hosea depicts the tension between God’s judgment and mercy, between His righteousness and covenant fidelity. Despite our faithlessness, He remains faithful (2 Timothy 2:13).

One recent Tuesday morning, we were working our way through chapter 8 of Hosea. In verse 13, we read that God told His people He would remember their iniquity, punish their sins, and send them back to Egypt, which was a foretelling of their captivity under Assyria. By this point in their history, the book of the Law, which the king was supposed to keep by his side and read every day (Deuteronomy 17:18-20), had been misplaced, and the priests were greedy and unfaithful. Thus, it was unlikely God’s people had consistently passed on the story of His miracle-filled deliverance from generation to generation as He’d commanded (Psalm 78:4-6). Given all that, I suggested that the threat of being returned to Egypt might not have meant much to them or carried much weight. Perhaps no one had told them how dreadful it was to be a slave or how marvelous God’s rescue was.

Although Hosea 8:2 says the people still “knew” the Lord and called on His name, simply knowing about God and crying out to Him in times of desperation isn’t the same as having a relationship with Him and a heart that wants to please Him.

Sobering Questions

As our discussion moved on, a whisper arose in my spirit: How about you? Do you remember how bad it was to be enslaved by sin? The thought convicted me. After walking with the Lord for nearly 50 years, have I forgotten how hopeless my situation was before He rescued me? Dead in my trespasses, unable to contribute anything to my salvation. Left to my own devices, I would have perished. Eternally.

But God, in His mercy, chose to redeem a people for Himself (Ephesians 2:4-5). May we never forget how remarkable and costly His rescue was! Redeemed by the Son’s precious blood, none of God’s children will ever be lost. Like a loving Father, He disciplines us (Hebrews 12:5-11), but He won’t ever forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6).

Throughout No Empty Word, the study questionshave challenged us to identify our idols, those things we allow to usurp God’s rightful place in our hearts and lives, things we look to for security instead of depending on the One who is our Provider, Rock, and Refuge, the One who is sovereign over every detail. Self-reliance, autonomy, self-glory, peace, wealth, fame – we’ve mentioned all of these in our discussions. Several times,  those discussions have reminded me of God’s warning in Deuteronomy 8:

Take care lest you forget the Lord your God by not keeping his commandments and his rules and his statutes, which I command you today, lest, when you have eaten and are full and have built good houses and live in them, and when your herds and flocks multiply and your silver and gold is multiplied and all that you have is multiplied, then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery, who led you through the great and terrifying wilderness, with its fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty ground where there was no water, who brought you water out of the flinty rock, who fed you in the wilderness with manna that your fathers did not know, that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end. Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’ You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day (Deuteronomy 8:11-18).

It’s a warning that applies every bit as much to God’s children today.

O Lord, please help us never to neglect the reading and hearing of Your Word or tire of telling the coming generations about Your glorious deeds so that they, too, will know how awful it is to be a slave to sin and how awesome it is to be a child of God. And may we never forget that everything we have and are, from our salvation to our daily bread, is a gift from You.

Epilog

You may be wondering about the photo I selected to accompany this post. Years ago, I saw a short video of a guy sitting behind a table in a cemetery. He’d posted a sign with the message along the lines of, “Anyone interested in eternal life step right up!” No surprise, but not a single person exited one of the graves and took him up on his offer. I often think of that clip when I contemplate what it means to be dead in our trespasses, unable to contribute anything toward our salvation!

Scars, Epilog

/ Patsy Kuipers / 2 Comments

I will hope continually
    and will praise you yet more and more.
My mouth will tell of your righteous acts,
    of your deeds of salvation all the day,
    for their number is past my knowledge.
Psalm 71:14-15

Secrets?

A longtime friend texted me after she read my last post to tell me she’d suffered an injury almost identical to one of the ones I described. It happened years ago, as did mine, but I never knew of our common experience until now. Admittedly, decades have passed since we lived near each other, and talking about such minor injuries isn’t at the top of our conversation topics when we schedule phone dates. But the fact that I didn’t know got me thinking about more serious things we intentionally hide, even sometimes from those closest to us.

I’m not implying that this particular friend has deep, dark secrets she’s never told me despite our five decades of friendship. No, I’m thinking about how reticent I’ve been to share things from my past for fear of rejection or condemnation. Yet, when situations arose that made it fitting to do so, I’ve not only been freed from my self-imposed isolation, but I’ve also made it safer for others to share their hard things. There is wonder and relief in knowing, “I’m not the only one!”

When someone further down the road assures us that God can redeem our brokenness and bring beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3), relief and hope unite as the Light leads us out of darkness.

Credentials

My dear friend Sharon Betters refers to the hard things the Lord brings us through as our credentials. As we call back to others, our experiences make us credible witnesses of God’s steadfast love, goodness, and faithfulness.

On a recent episode of her Daily Treasure podcast[1], Sharon included a quote from Oswald Chambers, which contained the following:

“There is no such thing as a private life . . . for a man or woman who is brought into fellowship with Jesus Christ’s sufferings . . . We are not sanctified for ourselves, we are called into the fellowhip of the Gospel, and things happen which have nothing to do with us . . . Why shouldn’t we go through heartbreaks? Through those doorways God is opening up ways of fellowship with His Son . . . If through a broken heart God can bring His purposes to pass in the world, then thank Him for breaking your heart.”[2]

Thank Him for breaking your heart? That’s unthinkable apart from our eternal security in Christ (2 Corinthians 16-18) and believing that God is working all things together for the good of those who love Him, those called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). We can find great comfort in knowing that our little stories are part of God’s great big story. He’s weaving the plot lines together in ways we may not understand in the moment or possibly not even this side of Heaven, but we can always trust His character.

For the Lord will not
    cast off forever,
but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion
    according to the abundance of his steadfast love;
for he does not afflict from his heart
    or grieve the children of men.
(Lamentations 3:31-33)

Propriety

There are appropriate times and places to share how the Lord has brought us through challenging circumstances. Not all the stories He’s entrusted to us are meant to be broadcast from a public platform. Some are best processed with wise counselors and trusted friends. Even so, we need to be willing to share when God sovereignly places someone in our lives who would benefit from hearing how He’s worked in and through even our darkest places.

There are some things I’ll probably never write a blog post about. However, I pray for discernment to know when God has ordained a crossing of paths and is nudging me to bless someone with the assurance others have passed on to me: you are not alone, and God can redeem even this.

Before I close, I also want to remind us to be slow to judge since we don’t know all the experiences that have gone into making a person who they are, much less how far along they are on their journey of restoration (1 Samuel 16:7; John 7:24). I’ve had several instances when a piece or two of information has completely changed my perspective on someone’s behavior. And I’ve had others make similar comments when they’ve learned more about my past.  

There are still tender spots in my soul, scars that will cause me to retreat in situations that evoke painful, long-ago events, but I trust God will use even those lingering scars for His good purposes.

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

[1] “A Private Life?,” Daily Treasure, August 31, 2024. Daily Treasure is one of many resources available through MARKINC Ministries.

[2] Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, November 1 devotion: “Ye Are Not Your Own.” (Grand Rapids, Discovery House.)

Don’t Cry! (Reprise)

/ Patsy Kuipers / Leave a comment

Jesus wept.
John 11:35

Introduction

A recent conversation with friends began with one of them apologizing for the tears that accompanied her reply to our question, “How are you?” “Not great,” followed by,  “Oh, I’m sorry, I cry too easily!”

My other friend and I assured her there was no need for an apology. After all, we cry easily, too! Thinking back on our exchange reminded me of this blog post I wrote several years ago. I decided it was time to dust it off, make a few edits, and rerun it.

Tears for All Occasions

I suppose I should begin with a confession: I’m an equal-opportunity crier. My eyes are just as likely to well up in moments of joy as in sorrow – while reading sweet sentiments in Hallmark cards, watching heartbreaking news stories, attending weddings or funerals, even when leading Bible study, as the magnitude of God’s grace and mercy floods over me. Yes, from a barely-there trickle to gut-wrenching sobs, I’ve shed my share of tears and expect to shed plenty more.

A quick Google search reveals three different types of tears. Basal tears keep our eyes lubricated, while reflex tears pop up in response to irritants like slicing onions or having a pesky gnat flit into your eye. And then there are psychic tears associated with our emotions, distinct from the other two in that they contain stress hormones.[1] No wonder we often feel better after shedding them. They’re like an overflow valve for the soul.

Biblical Weeping

The Bible has much to say about tears and the circumstances surrounding them. Consider, for example:

  • Loss of a loved one by separation or death
    • David grieved the loss of his closer-than-a-brother friend, Jonathan, first from necessary distancing and then by death (1 Samuel 20:41; 2 Samuel 1:12).
    • Mary and Martha mourned Lazarus’ death. Seeing their distress, Jesus wept too, even though He knew his Father would hear His prayer to raise him. Jesus had compassion for the sisters in their time of loss, and He has compassion for us as well (John 11:31-35).
    • Jesus’ followers were bereft and befuddled after His death despite the many times He’d told them what was to come (Luke 18:31-34; 36:13-49).
  • Disappointments of various sorts
    • Esau wept over losing his birthright when he realized his brother had tricked their father (Genesis 27:30-38).
    • Hannah’s unfulfilled desire for a child, exacerbated by her rival’s provocation and her husband’s lack of understanding, led to her fervent, tear-stained prayer for relief (1 Samuel 1:1-10).
  • Sorrow for sin
    • Three of the four Gospels recount Peter’s tear-punctuated dismay when Jesus’ statement that he’d betray Him came to pass (Matthew 26:75; Mark 14:72; Luke 22:62).
    • James says we should be wretched, mourn, and weep over our transgressions, humbly drawing near to God for forgiveness and restoration (James 4:8-10).
  • Worship and Gratitude
    • The penitent woman who wet Jesus’ feet with her tears, wiped them with her hair, and anointed them with ointment was motivated by her love for her Savior (Luke 7:36-38).
  • Joyous reunion
    • Though bitterness marked their estrangement and Jacob feared the worst from Esau, the brothers’ reunion was accompanied by joyful tears (Genesis 33:4).
    •  I’m taking some liberty here because none of the translations I consulted mention crying, but I’ve got to believe the prodigal son’s compassionate father had tears of elation streaming down his face as he ran to greet his returning son (Luke 15:20).

To Grieve or Not to Grieve?

Even though these passages and others make it clear psychic tears are part of our God-given emotions, we’re quick to admonish, “Don’t cry!” Could it be that others’ tears make us uncomfortable or tearful ourselves? Or worse, might we believe God’s children aren’t supposed to cry because we know the end of the story?

I distinctly remember a visit from the mother of one of my daughter’s friends, though it occurred 27 years ago. She, too, was widowed at a young age, losing her husband a few months after I lost mine. Being a wee bit further along the path of single parenting, I hoped to console her, but when she arrived, she was surprisingly joyful and radiant. I’ll never forget her statement, “The elders and my church family have been praying I won’t grieve, and it’s working!”

Not grieve the loss of your life partner and father of your children? I was speechless. Granted, we don’t grieve as those who have no hope, but we do grieve.

Man of Sorrows

The women who witnessed Jesus’ crucifixion no doubt wailed at the sight of their beloved Teacher and Friend, bloodied and beaten, being nailed to a Roman cross – the innocent One put to death for the sins of others. Isaiah 53 is one of my most cherished passages, but also one which I can rarely get through without tears. Man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. Despised. Rejected. Wounded for our transgressions, crushed for our iniquities. My transgressions. My iniquities.

A conversation with my pastor regarding our propensity to rush to the good news of Christ’s victory over death without allowing ourselves or others to grieve reminded me of my daughter Jessie’s comment as we stood by Mom’s grave following her funeral three years ago. After watching Mom endure horrible pain the last ten days of her life, I said I was thankful she wasn’t suffering anymore. Jessie replied, “That’s true, but don’t miss out on the mourning, Mom.”

Don’t miss out on the mourning.

If we ever doubt we have permission to grieve, we have only to look to Jesus. He experienced what it’s like to walk through this sin-scarred world. Even though He knew He would defeat death and not one of those entrusted to Him would be lost, Jesus wept because death was never part of God’s good plan. It stings. It always will this side of heaven.

As we go through difficulties in this life, we know the One who keeps track of every tear (Psalm 56:8) is seated at the right hand of God, interceding for us. Nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:31-39). He has promised to return, to usher in a new heaven and a new earth, to wipe every tear from our eyes (Revelation 21:1-4). Until then, let us rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep, unafraid of our tears.

O Lord, thank You for hearing our cries for help. Though weeping may last through the night, joy comes with the morning (Psalm 30). You have shown great mercy in sending Jesus to die for our sins and will turn our mourning into gladness. For we know this momentary affliction is preparing an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison (2 Corinthians 4:17). 

Note: A blend of joy that my granddaughter Lyla Ray arrived safely and sorrow that her Grandpa (Ray) Kuipers wasn’t with us to greet his namesake produced the barely visible tear on my cheek in the accompanying photo.

[1] “What are the three different types of tears found in our eyes?”, http://www.sharecare.com

A Decade of Blogging

/ Patsy Kuipers / 2 Comments

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
1 Peter 4:10-11

Dear Readers,

July 1st marks the 10th anniversary of my first post. When I launched Back 2 the Garden in the summer of 2014, I didn’t know what to expect. Would anyone read what I wrote or care about what I had to say? All I knew was that I wanted to glorify God and encourage others by recounting examples of His faithfulness in my life. Two hundred seventy-two posts later, that continues to be my goal.

There have been times when the silence was deafening, as the old saying goes. Those times tempted me to quit, as I wondered if my stories heartened those who read them and whether or not God was pleased with my efforts. Inevitably, when those moments arose, someone would comment something along the lines of, “Thanks for sharing. I needed to read this today!”

I took those comments as God’s nudge to keep writing, to use the gift He’s given me, and to trust Him to use my words as He sees fit, to direct them to the right person in His perfect timing.

Over the years, my posts have tended to fall into one of three broad categories: those inspired by my passion for gardening, those based on insights gleaned from being a mother and grandmother, and those borne from working through deep grief after times of significant loss. I loosely refer to them as lessons learned in my garden, from my grandchildren, and from being a widow – the foundations for a trilogy of books. So far, only one has come to fruition. In fact, my first post, “Consider it Pure Joy,” became the basis for the prologue of Be Still, Quiet Moments With God in My Garden, which I published in November 2020.

Lord willing, I’ll eventually compile and edit posts to create the other books. For now, I will strive to continue to share stories of God’s steadfast love, mercy, and faithfulness.

As I’ve done on the previous anniversaries, I want to thank all of you who have taken the time to read my posts and helped nurture my writing endeavors. Some of you have followed along from the beginning, while others have found your way to this site more recently. Regardless of the tenure of your readership, my prayer continues to be that my words will encourage you and point you to the hope we have in Jesus. God is faithful, and we can trust Him through all the joys and sorrows of our lives. Our stories are part of His eternal, overarching story. I’m grateful that you’ve allowed me to share some of mine with you.

Blessings to you, dear readers.

The Sad Relief

/ Patsy Kuipers / Leave a comment

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Deuteronomy 31:8

Holiday Blues

For most of my life, I looked forward to the final six weeks of the year, full of holiday cheer, beginning with Mom’s November birthday, followed by Thanksgiving, my mid-December birthday, Christmas, and New Year’s, with long-standing traditions associated with each. Granddaughter Lyla arrived the day after my birthday in 2013, multiplying the joy by becoming my birthday buddy.

But several years ago, my anticipation of the end-of-the-year celebrations began to wane as Mom’s health declined, and she couldn’t fully enjoy the season as she had in the past. Then 2020 rolled around, and, like many other families, COVID-19 derailed our Christmas traditions.

Little did we know it would be our last Christmas with Mom.

December 2021 found me going through the motions. Not only was it my first Christmas without my beloved mother, but my strong father had suffered a stroke six months after her passing. Though the physical effects were minor, the stroke impacted Dad’s cognitive abilities, leaving him incapable of handling his finances or medications, making it impossible to live on his own. Though we found a live-in caregiver for him, Dad grew tired of having someone in his space all the time. Thus, December found us looking at assisted living options, planning to move him in January.

I was equally despondent as the holidays approached in 2022. If it had been possible to fast forward to mid-January 2023, I would have done so. Dad contracted Covid at the end of October. His health was so fragile I thought it likely I would be planning a funeral before the end of the year. But he rallied and was able to celebrate Christmas, New Year’s, and his 92nd birthday before suffering another stroke in May of 2023 and gradually declining until passing away peacefully on July 12.

Grieving with Hope

After four years, holiday joy finally returned to my heart last December. That may sound strange considering it was my first without either of my parents. I’ve pondered that myself and have frequently returned to a phrase one of my friends used when she replied to my text informing her of Dad’s passing:  “I’m so sorry. Now begins the sad relief.”

The sad relief – an apt description of the blend of sorrow and joy known to Christians because we’re able to grieve with hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18). Though I miss Mom and Dad, there’s great comfort in knowing they’re together in the presence of Jesus, far beyond the reach of earthly pain and distress.

After three years of intense caregiving, first for Mom and then Dad, another type of relief joined that of knowing they’re better than they’ve ever been – the relief from stress related to not knowing what any given day would bring, having to make so many difficult decisions, and, as an only child, feeling the heavy weight of responsibility. Only now, after several months of no longer experiencing the daily tension, do  I realize the load I carried, one always tinged with guilt and doubt. Was I making the right decisions? Should I be doing more? Ultimately, I knew that no matter how hard I tried, I was helpless to stop the relentless march of aging or prevent the inevitable conclusion.

Faithful God

But looking back, I also have a much clearer view of how God went before us every step of the way.

Mom’s agony was intense but relatively brief. God directed and redirected throughout the ten-day interval between the moment she fell and broke her hip and the one in which she drew her final breath. We intended to bring her home and endeavored to do so, but the Lord had plans to call her Home.

Though the stroke Dad experienced six months after Mom died wasn’t as catastrophic as her broken hip, it initiated a decline that lasted 18 months before he joined her in Glory. When he came home from the hospital, we secured a male, live-in Christian caregiver for him. I’ve got to believe that’s a rare combination of traits! When Dad grew tired of that arrangement, we found a cozy apartment in a lovely assisted living community two miles from my daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren.

Then came the day when Dad’s primary care physician recommended we transition to palliative care. The assumption underlying her suggestion wasn’t lost on me. We were running out of options to make Dad “well.” It was time to focus on making him comfortable instead. And, when we needed to take the next step and enlist hospice care, who would turn out to be his primary nurses but two women who’d overseen his care after his seizure some months before. In the interim, they’d started working for the hospice provider. Coincidence? I think not!

There are other examples of God’s provision and presence during Dad’s final months, but I’ll let these suffice.

Never Alone

There were times when I felt so alone in my seat on the emotional roller coaster associated with Dad’s ever-changing status, from declines to rallies and back again. Yet I was never alone. The One who promised never to leave or forsake me was there for every up and down, every daunting diagnosis and surprising recovery, not only knowing but also ordaining the end from the beginning (Isaiah 46:9-10).

The sadness of no longer having Mom and Dad to share things with, celebrate with, or reminisce with will stay with me for the rest of my life. But there’s the joy of cherishing memories of times past, carrying on favorite family traditions with my grandchildren, and mentioning Mama and Papop often so the youngest generation doesn’t forget their great-grandparents.

Ultimately, the greatest joy comes from the realization that God accomplished what I could not – relieve their pain and suffering – and He did it for eternity.

Epilog

Several days ago, I opened my journaling Bible to a section of Psalms I hadn’t read for a while, at least not in that particular Bible. I did a double-take when I saw what I’d written next to Psalm 40:17 two days before Mom broke her hip: “My prayer for Mom tonight, Lord. Please don’t delay in helping her or delivering her from the pain she’s been experiencing.” At the very moment I was writing that prayer, He had already determined how He would answer. Twelve days later, the Lord delivered Mom entirely and eternally from her pain.

Watching Mom and Dad decline gave me a glimpse of what my future might look like as I continue my journey Home. It also provided ample evidence of God’s faithfulness. It saddens me to think of possibly losing the capability to care for myself, yet there is relief in knowing God’s grace will be sufficient for my caregivers and me, just as it was for Mom and Dad and theirs – all the way to the end (2 Corinthians 12:9; Hebrews 10:23).  

New Year’s Resolution

/ Patsy Kuipers / Leave a comment

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
2 Corinthians 5:17

Making New Year’s resolutions is a tradition for many of us. Something about opening up a new planner full of blank pages waiting to be filled in or turning the calendar to January 1 inspires us to make changes in ourselves. Sadly, despite our best intentions, breaking those resolutions is about as common as making them in the first place.

But what if we were to resolve to do something that we knew for sure we’d accomplish? There is something, but we can’t do it on our own.

When we endeavor to become more like Christ, we can be certain of accomplishing our goal because it’s God’s will for us, and the process is all of Him. Reflect on these assurances:

  • God chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him (Ephesians 1:4).
  • Those (God) foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son so that he might be the firstborn among many brothers (Romans 8:29).
  • We are being transformed into his image from one degree of glory to another (2 Corinthians 3:18) by the power at work within us, the same power that rose Jesus from the grave (Ephesians 1:19-20).
  • For it is [not your strength, but it is] God who is effectively at work in you, both to will and to work [that is, strengthening, energizing, and creating in you the longing and the ability to fulfill your purpose] for His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13, AMP).
  • Ask anything according to His will, and He’ll do it for us (1 John 5:14-15).

Isn’t that encouraging?

When we think of resolution, most of us think of the primary definition: a firm decision to do or not to do something.

But if you keep reading through the list of definitions, you’ll come to this one: the degree of detail visible in a photographic or television image. That description reminds me of a statement made by my spiritual mother, Susan Hunt, “We become what we behold.” The more we look into God’s word – living, active, sharper than a two-edged sword –  the more precise our picture of His character, His promises, and His will for our lives becomes (Hebrews 4:12).

Let’s consider again the initial verse from 2 Corinthians 5, continuing to the end of the chapter: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God (1 Corinthians 5:17-21).

Our pastor often reminds us that we are Christ’s ambassadors as we live in the now-and-not-yet, in between Jesus’ first coming, when He ushered in God’s new kingdom, and His second, when that kingdom will be fully consummated. We’re already counted righteous in Christ, seated in the heavenly places with Him (Ephesians 2:5-7), but we still struggle with sin (Romans 7:19-20). However, given our new nature and our new citizenship, we’re to embrace, embody, and extend to others the goodness and grace we’ve experienced because of God’s work in our lives, being salt and light (Matthew 5:13-16).

Later this year, I’ll celebrate the 50th anniversary of my baptism and public profession of faith. In those five decades, the Spirit has done a mighty work – chiseling, sanding, polishing – making me more into the image of Jesus. I’m not the same person I was then, and by His grace, I won’t be the same person I am now when I turn the calendar to January 2025. The same can be said for all God’s children, be they baby saints just beginning their journey with Him or seasoned saints drawing ever closer to Home.

Our transformation won’t be complete until Jesus returns, but we can be confident that He who began a good work in us will see it through to completion (Philippians 1:6). Then, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, we will be changed (1 Corinthians 15:52-53)!

For now, may we heed  God’s charge and resolve to be kingdom representatives, endeavoring to live up to what we’re already counted to be in Christ, knowing we’re not laboring alone or in our own strength.

Wait for the Lord

/ Patsy Kuipers / Leave a comment

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.
Lamentations 3:25-26

Cereal Shortage

Inflation has caused prices of all kinds of goods to skyrocket in the past year. (Stick with me. I promise this isn’t a political commentary!) I’ve been particularly appalled as I’ve watched the price of my favorite cereal creep toward, then gallop past, the $6 mark. Years ago, when the price hovered around $4 per box, I began waiting for BOGO (buy-one-get-one-free) sales and then stocking up in hopes of having enough to last until the next one.

Such was my plan earlier this summer when Publix featured my cereal in their sale circular. Although I had several boxes in my pantry, I decided to add a few more to cushion my reserves. I expectantly approached the shelf where the cereal usually resides, only to find it empty with an “Our Apologies” note posted on the edge. I made a couple more stops when I passed the store during the sale, but the shelf was empty each time. As the sale drew to a close, I requested a rain check, explaining that I’d stopped multiple times only to find the bare shelf and note of apology.

Armed with my rain check, I stopped by repeatedly over the next few weeks, hoping to find the cereal. A month passed and my rain check expired – still no sign of the cereal. I decided to check Amazon. I located my cereal. Hooray! But wait! $42 for two boxes?? Was I reading it wrong? Were these extra-large boxes? A whole case? I reread the description. Nope! Some enterprising person was trying to sell two boxes of cereal for  $42!

That’s when it finally occurred to me – there must be a shortage. A quick google confirmed my suspicion. Something had disrupted the production, but a note from the manufacturer promised distribution would return to normal by October.

I checked my inventory, did a quick calculation, and smiled. If the manufacturer stuck to their schedule, my cereal would be available before my stockpile ran out.

Watching and Wavering

Week after week passed. I kept checking for the cereal. Each time, the bare shelf and “Sorry” note greeted me. Meanwhile, my supply was dwindling, but I remained confident, remembering that God cares about the details of our lives, knew exactly when my stash would run out, and was fully capable of providing the cereal “just in time.”

And then, the day arrived when I opened the last box from my pantry. I stopped by the store and checked the shelf – empty. Even though I remained confident God would come through, I purchased another brand of cereal so I would have something to eat for breakfast in case He didn’t.

A few days later, I went back to the store. As I approached the shelf, I could see the persistent gap, but the “Our Apologies” sign was gone, and there, at the back of the shelf, were several boxes of my favorite cereal. The corners of my mouth lifted in a grin of validation. See! I knew I wouldn’t run out!

So why didn’t I remain firm and act on that belief? Good question. I suppose I wanted to “be sure,” as if God’s steadfast love and provision aren’t among the most certain things in my life!

Helping God

I have so many examples, big and small, of God’s faithfulness to look back on, including little touches like this that remind me He cares about the things we care about. He’s a good Father who delights in giving His children good gifts (Matthew 7:11; James 1:7), yet sometimes I get impatient and decide to “help.”

I only have to look at the Bible to realize I’m not alone. Remember how Sarah took things into her own hands to ensure Abraham would have an heir? Instead of waiting on God to fulfill His promise and never imagining she might be the one to bear her husband a son given her advanced age, she offered her maidservant, Hagar, to Abraham. That liaison resulted in the birth of a son, but not the one God had promised, and much hostility and heartache resulted from Sarah’s actions (See Genesis 15-17, 21:1-21).

And how about Rebekah? When she became pregnant with twin sons, God told her the older would serve the younger. Esau, born seconds before his brother, was their father Isaac’s favorite, while Rebekah preferred Jacob. She, too, decided to help God and concocted an elaborate ruse to secure Isaac’s blessing for Jacob. Though her favorite obtained the coveted blessing, the process led to much animosity, just like Sarah’s had a generation before (See Genesis 25:19-34; Genesis 27).

Perfect Plans

We can count on God’s promises. We can trust that His plan is good and perfect, as is His timing (Isaiah 55:8-9). He doesn’t need us to implement our own solutions, no matter how well-intentioned. He wants us to trust, obey, and wait.

There have been times when I’ve been forced to wait, times when my manipulation of circumstances didn’t yield the hoped-for results, or sometimes, no result at all except for frustration on my part. Yet, because God didn’t bless my maneuverings, I have examples of the superiority of His plans and purposes that assure me I can trust Him for something better.

I don’t know what you might be waiting for, dear reader, but I invite you to join me in quiet anticipation of God delivering on all His promises, knowing He is sovereign over every detail of our lives.

As for the substitute cereal I bought? For now, it can stay in my pantry, a simple reminder of a profound truth.

Orphaned Widow

/ Patsy Kuipers / 12 Comments

Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.
Psalm 68:5

A New Reality

They’re gone.

Sometimes it’s my first waking thought. The reality settles over my sorrowing soul like a heavy mantle. I’m an orphan now. Though some might reserve that designation for minor children, and I left my childhood years behind many decades ago, in the strictest sense of the word, I assumed that title when Dad joined Mom in the presence of Jesus in the wee hours of July 12th.

I’m finding it difficult to grasp my new status or describe what it feels like to realize the two people who knew me from the first day of my life and through all the ups and downs that followed are no longer within reach of a phone call or hug.

Admittedly, our roles began to shift three years ago when Mom’s health declined significantly. There were times when I would accompany her to a doctor’s appointment, and she’d say, “Patsy’s the mother now. I don’t know what I’d do without her.” Then, six months after Mom died, Dad had a stroke. Fortunately, the incident didn’t leave him with any physical weakness, but it took a toll on his brilliant mind. Details confounded him, and he couldn’t keep track of time. Thus, I took over his finances and oversaw his care at the assisted living facility we picked out together, his home for the last eighteen months of his life.

Cheerleader and Protector

Everyone needs someone in their corner, and Mom was in mine from my earliest days. She was my lifelong cheerleader, always encouraging and believing in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself. Though my relationship with Dad was more turbulent, I never doubted he would protect and provide for me and that I could turn to him for wise counsel.

Despite the role reversal that accompanied her final months, as long as Mom was alive, I knew I had someone who would cheer me on and believe in me unreservedly. Likewise, the sense that Dad had my back remained even though, more and more, it was me who had his.

When I became a widow at age 38, Mom and Dad graciously moved to Georgia to help me raise Mary and Jessie, who were only 10 and 7 years old when their dad died. No special-occasion-only visits for us. Nope, Mom and Dad completed our nuclear family. Mom usually picked Mary and Jessie up from school, and we ate dinner with them most nights.

The fact that Mom and Dad played such a prominent role not only in my life but also in my girls’ magnifies the loss. They were tightly woven into the fabric of our lives, and their passing produced holes in our family tapestry.

Widowed First

As I’ve been contemplating my parentless state, verses that declare God to be a Father to the fatherless have come to mind. Have you ever noticed how those passages usually include His concern for widows too? I became a widow 26 years before becoming an orphan, and across those years, I’ve become well acquainted with God’s steadfast love and faithfulness. He has been my Defender, and I know I can count on Him to be my Father.

Wisdom tops the list of all the things I’ve prayed for since my husband died. I’ve routinely sought the Lord’s guidance, and He has repeatedly shown me the way. Now is no different as I seek God’s will to navigate this season of life as the eldest generation, responsible for managing the legacy Mom and Dad left to us – how best to glorify God and honor their memory in the process.

I’ve been journaling more than usual the past few weeks, trying to work through the emotions accompanying my parents’ loss and the feelings of “what now.” One day, I listed four specific areas where I needed wisdom and asked God to show me how to proceed. When I revisited the list a couple of days ago, I realized God had already given me clear direction on three of the four decisions. The fourth matter is ongoing, and I trust God will provide insight when I need it (James 1:5-6).

Motherly Love, Fatherly Protection

In addition to prayer, I’ve sought solace in familiar Bible verses. As is often the case, I’ve seen a new angle as the Spirit has applied the living, active word to my present situation (Hebrews 4:12). Take a look at these two passages:

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing (Zephaniah 3:17).

Behold, the Lord God comes with might, and his arm rules for him; behold, his reward is with him, and his recompense before him. He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young (Isaiah 40:10-11).

In the past, I’ve focused on the tenderness in these passages, the motherly qualities, if you will, but this week, God’s mighty power stood out to me. The love of my heavenly Father, who’ll never leave me, encompasses the aspects I miss most in my dear parents – Mom’s enduring encouragement and Dad’s persistent protection. What a blessing!

Sojourners

Remember the passages I referred to earlier that mention orphans and widows? God included a third category among the groups His people were supposed to care for in their midst: aliens and sojourners. Regardless of our marital or parental status, all of us are sojourners in this world. As God’s children, we are on our way to a better country, our true Home (Hebrews 11:16).

Mom and Dad knew and loved me from my first day in this world, but God chose me before the foundation of the world to be His (Ephesians 1:4-5). He knit me together in Mom’s womb, predestined me to be conformed to the image of His Son, determined when and where I would live, and wrote my days in His book before even one came to be. His love for me will never end.

One day, I’ll join Mom and Dad in the presence of Jesus, where there will be no more orphans, widows, or sojourners because we’ll all be safely Home.

Dear Lord, thank You that Mom and Dad were in my life for over six decades and for the blessing they were to me, my daughters, and my grandchildren. Even so, I know their love for us pales in comparison to Your perfect, infinite love. I rest and rejoice in the assurance that You will guide and protect us until we arrive Home to spend eternity in Your glorious presence.