God’s provision

Flowers or Weeds?

/ Patsy Kuipers / 2 Comments

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

What do you see?

When you walk through a garden, are you more likely to see the flowers or the weeds? I’ve come to think of that question as the gardener’s version of seeing a glass as being half-empty or half-full.

On any given day, visitors to my garden can find both lovely sections festooned with flowers and unkempt patches needing my attention. My 5-year-old neighbor, Billy[1], tends to focus on the latter, zeroing in on weeds and, this time of year, unraked leaves. Though I attempt to take my young friend’s comments in stride, they sometimes sting. Try as I might, I can never stay ahead of the weeds.

Recently, Billy’s father overheard him pointing out some things that weren’t to his liking. Seeing a teaching moment, he came over and said, “How do you think it makes Ms. Patsy feel when you say things like that? How would you feel if someone came over to our yard and said the same thing?”

Eyes downcast, Billy replied, “Sad,” then quickly changed the subject.

A Proposal

But, in an effort to help him learn to see the beauty, I made a deal with him – “For every thing you tell me you don’t like about my garden, you need to tell me something you do like. How about that?”

We haven’t been outside at the same time since, so I’m not sure if my proposal will stick. Regardless, as I was reviewing our conversation, the Spirit gently convicted me. “How often do you focus on what’s irritating you or not to your liking, instead of on the blessings and provisions God has poured out on you?”

Ouch! That nudge led me to challenge myself with the same proposal I had given Billy: each time I complain, I need to thank God for a blessing. Could it be that with practice, the complaints will decrease and the praise increase? I hope so! Because ultimately, when I’m grumping about something that’s not to my liking, I’m complaining against God.

Fellow Complainers

It’s so easy to read the account of the Israelites’ wanderings and think, “What’s wrong with these people? They’re always grumbling!”

They’d seen God part the Red Sea, ensuring their deliverance from Pharaoh (Exodus 14:21-29). Yet, it wasn’t long before they were hangry, wishing they were back in the land of their captivity, where they “sat by pots of meat and ate their fill of bread” (Exodus 16:3). God provided manna (Exodus 16), which they tired of and began clamoring for meat. He rained down quail – accompanied by a plague because of their incessant whining (Numbers 11). They demanded water, which God miraculously supplied, not once, but twice (Exodus 17:1-7; Numbers 20:1-11).

Still, they muttered.

Though I’m apt to scoff at the Israelites for their griping, I recognize that I’m equally capable of being discontent. When I focus on circumstances I wish were different or long for things I don’t have, I, too, am dishonoring the Giver of all good gifts (James 1:17), the One who didn’t withhold His only Son (Romans 8:32), and has given me everything I will ever need in Him (Philippians 4:19; 2 Peter 1:3).

Perspective

It remains to be seen whether or not Billy will remember our conversation and his father’s counsel. I, however, have been practicing seeing the flowers instead of the weeds in my daily life, trusting my heavenly Father to remind me of my commitment to do so should I start to lose focus. By the power of the Spirit, I will endeavor to rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and give thanks in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

Dear Lord, thank You for the brief encounter with my little neighbor, a reminder that I, too, can fall prey to negativity. You have not withheld any good thing from me. Please help me remember that when I’m tempted to complain.

[1] Name has been changed.

Faithful God

/ Patsy Kuipers / 2 Comments

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Deuteronomy 31:8

Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.
(Deuteronomy 7:9)

Benefits of Aging?

This spring, our women’s Bible study has been working through Aging With Grace, Flourishing in an Anti-Aging Culture by Sharon Betters and Susan Hunt. Each time we meet, we begin with announcements and an ice-breaker. Last time, our question was, “Name one advantage or blessing you associate with aging.”

Some of us chuckled since it’s more common to have a litany of complaints instead of a list of blessings when it comes to aging – sagging skin, aching joints, a decrease in stamina, and an increase in episodes of “What was I looking for when I came into this room?” to name a few. But I knew my answer immediately because I’ve said it countless times in recent years: One of my favorite things about getting older is having more and more examples of God’s faithfulness to add to my mental file folder.

Sovereign Over Every Detail

In my last post, “April, A Month of Contrasts,” I described how difficult the last two weeks of April are because of the anniversaries of my husband’s and mother’s deaths. This year, I’ve been more intentional than usual about remembering Mom’s final days, motivated in part by coming alongside friends who are walking loved ones through health crises. It’s been a painful reminiscence because of the tremendous suffering Mom endured after she fell and broke her hip. However, as I’ve thought back to the ten days between her fall and Homegoing, Facebook memories and journal entries have reminded me how God continually went before us in details and decisions, both minute and massive.

A few examples:

Prayer and a Sack Lunch. I have hypoglycemia and usually carry food with me based on which meals or snacks I’ll need while I’m away from home. The morning Mom broke her hip, I was intent on getting to the hospital as soon as I could, so I  barely ate breakfast, much less took time to pack any food for later in the day. A brief conversation with the technician who came to X-ray Mom’s hip revealed he was a fellow Christian. I asked him to pray for us, which he did on the spot. I also explained my food dilemma and asked where I could get something to eat. He said vending machines were the only option in the emergency department because the cafeteria was in the main hospital, separated from the ED by a maze of corridors and locked doors. A short while later, when I thought I’d have to subsist on crackers, chips, and soda, the technician returned with a sack lunch from the employee break room, enough nourishment to keep me going until they transferred Mom to the main hospital.

A Well-placed Physician. Once the X-ray confirmed the fracture, we were faced with two equally daunting options: Agree to surgery to repair the hip and risk losing Mom outright or let the hip heal on its own, knowing she’d probably never be able to stand up or walk again. I accompanied Mom when they moved her from the ED, and who did I see making his rounds right outside Mom’s room? The very orthopedist she’d been seeing for several years about severe pain in her knees. Incredulous but grateful for the God-ordained encounter, I briefly explained what had happened and asked Dr. Chen to look at Mom’s X-ray. He did. Then, without hesitation, he said she needed the surgery and confirmed she’d most likely be bedridden and wheelchair-bound without it. Seeing how adamant he was after being equally adamant for years that he wouldn’t risk doing knee surgery on Mom helped us understand how high the stakes were and informed the first of many difficult decisions we’d have to make.

Daily Directions. Mom made it through the surgery, but ultimately, the trauma she experienced from the fall and operation was too much for her tiny body to handle. Our initial goal of getting her back home evolved as challenges mounted. In a matter of days, we went from approving PT and OT to authorizing palliative care. We requested the nurses stop drawing Mom’s blood and checking her vitals because the procedures increased her agitation. Finally, we determined to bring her home with hospice care. There was no opening for the in-home option that day, but a room was available at Tranquility, the in-patient hospice facility. In that aptly-named haven, away from the ever-present noise and activity of the hospital, Mom finally got to rest. Barely 24 hours after her arrival, she slipped peacefully into the presence of Jesus.

Doubts Dismissed

Ten days from Mom’s fall to her Homegoing. It seemed so much longer. Days ran into nights, which ran into more days, all filled with one gut-wrenching decision after another. Could I have done more? Should I have made different choices? I expressed my doubts and misgivings to our pastor a few weeks after Mom’s death. He replied, “Your leadership brought about a God-honoring, peaceful end for your mother, surrounded by her family.”

I know that leadership was only possible because the Lord went before me, directing and redirecting me the entire time. He answered my prayers for wisdom (James 1:5) and heard the petitions of the multitude praying for us.

Extensive Evidence

Examples of God’s faithfulness during Mom’s final days reside among myriad other examples amassed over 28 years of widowhood, including 14 years of His faithful provision since I lost my job. They support and reinforce my testimony: God is faithful. We can trust Him to keep all His promises. He’ll never leave or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8).

When we stand at the entrance to a dark valley filled with trials, we don’t know how long or deep it will be, but Jesus does. Not only does He understand the way we must take, but He will also travel the path with us (Hebrews 4:15-16). And, when it’s our turn to face the final valley of the shadow of death, we can rest assured that we will come out safely on the other side because our gentle Shepherd has gone before us to make a way (Psalm 23:4; John 10:27-29). He will lead us into the eternal light of His presence (Revelation 22:5).

The Inheritance

/ Patsy Kuipers / Leave a comment

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
1 Peter 1:3-5

Bittersweet Blessing

An inheritance is a bittersweet blessing. By definition, you only receive it when someone who loved you is no longer alive (Hebrews 9:16-17). Such was the case when my dad died in the summer of 2023. Engulfed by grief from losing him and grappling with my new orphan status since Mom preceded him in 2021, I was overwhelmed as I contemplated my position as their only child and sole heir. Gratitude and guilt mingled with an intense sense of responsibility.

My parents married young and had little material wealth to their names. Dad served in the Air Force and went to college on the GI Bill after he completed his four years of active duty. Mom worked various jobs to help pay the bills. From these humble beginnings, they labored together over nearly 70 years of marriage to build a comfortable life. They provided for me while I was under their roof and shared graciously with me and my family as the years progressed. Dad invested wisely, always with the goal of having something to leave for future generations.

Unmerited Benefits

I didn’t do anything to deserve the inheritance. If anything, I drained my parents’ finances instead of contributing to their wealth. As grateful as I was to receive it, I also worried I would make poor decisions and somehow waste or misuse what they’d left to me. One day, when I was engaging in just such hand-wringing, the friend listening to my angst said, “Your dad didn’t have to leave his inheritance to you. He could have given it to his alma mater or another charity, but he entrusted it to you. He knew you would handle it well.”

In the nearly two years that have passed since Dad joined Mom in the presence of Jesus, the powerful, mind-numbing grief has subsided to a dull, ever-present ache. Able to think more clearly than in the early days of loss, I’ve taken heart in what my friend said and have endeavored to make decisions that honor my parents’ memory and the values they instilled in me, including generosity, appreciation for education, and planning for the welfare of future generations.

Spiritual Inheritance

Navigating the realities of my material inheritance has provided ample opportunities for me to contemplate the importance of how I steward my spiritual inheritance.

Unlike Mom and Dad, Jesus was wealthy beyond measure, but He became poor for my sake so that by His poverty, I might become rich (2 Corinthians 2:8-9). He didn’t consider equality with God something to grasp. Instead, He left His throne and humbled Himself to the point of death on a cross (Philippians 2:6-8). His death secured an eternal, imperishable inheritance I did nothing to deserve (1 Peter 1:3-5).

Several years ago, our women’s Bible study worked through Entrusted to Be Invested by Karen Hodge. As children of the King, we’ve been entrusted with the greatest treasure of all, the Gospel. Unlike our earthly inheritance, which may become vulnerable to loss regardless of our best efforts, our inheritance in Christ is eternally secure, kept safe for us by the power of His blood.

Just as I strive to steward the earthly treasures my parents entrusted to me, I desire to steward the treasure of Gospel hope in a way that brings honor to my heavenly Father as I live out the values He’s imparted to me through the power of the indwelling Spirit.

Dear readers, in him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the Gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory . . . I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe (Ephesians 1:11-14; 18-19).

May we endeavor to pass this priceless inheritance from one generation to the next until He returns.

Our Part

/ Patsy Kuipers / Leave a comment

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.
Ephesians 1:3-4

Chosen

Like most children, my grandson Joshua had a wonderful imagination when he was little. I never knew from one visit to the next what scenario I might be stepping into, but he always had a story ready to enact, complete with props. Sometimes, he would hand me a lasso (one of the dog’s leashes), and we’d ride off to rustle up some cows. Then again, he would give me a plastic sword, and we would protect our ship (a large cardboard box) from pirates. One day, we even boarded a train (the sofa) and headed west to visit our South Dakota relatives. Regardless of the adventure, Joshua always made sure I had a role to play, announcing, “This is your part, Grammie!” as he handed me the appropriate accessory.

As touching as it was for Joshua to include me in his storylines, I am astounded when I think that God chose me before the foundation of the world to be part of His story (Ephesians 1:4). But that’s not all. He also:

  • Determined the specific time and place for me to live (Acts 17:26).
  • Prepared good works for me that I should walk in them (Ephesians 2:10).
  • Wrote all my days in His book before even one came to be (Psalm 139:16).
  • Is preparing a place for me so I can dwell with Him forever (John 14:1-3).

These things are true for every one of God’s children. Isn’t it amazing that the infinite God, who lacked nothing, chose to share the love and communion enjoyed by the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit in the Trinity and give us parts in His grand story?

Equipped

And, just as Joshua provided the trappings I needed to fulfill my various roles, God also equips us. He has given us:

  • His word, living and active, to teach, reprove, correct, and train us in righteousness (Hebrews 4:12; 2 Timothy 3:16).
  • Different spiritual gifts for building up the Church (1 Corinthians 12).
  • His Spirit, to instruct and empower us (John 14:26; Ephesians 1:19-20).
  • His grace which is always sufficient (2 Corinthians 9:8, 12:9).
  • The promise of His presence so we’ll never be alone or forsaken (Matthew 28:20; Deuteronomy 31:8).

Sustained

Joshua is a teenager now, several inches taller than me, and still growing. Gone are the days of defending cardboard ships and boarding sofa trains, but I’m blessed to still have a part in Joshua’s life. Last week, he created a spreadsheet listing the botanical field trips we hope to take this year. Our adventures have evolved from imaginary to real as we explore God’s beautiful creation, discussing plants and animals.

As long as I’m alive, I pray I will always have a part to play in his story. And in God’s.

Aging brings about many changes, including questioning our purpose as roles shift and abilities decline. But, praise God, our identity in Christ – beloved children of the King – and our purpose – to glorify God and enjoy Him forever – never change, regardless of our age, though how we live out our identity and purpose most likely will.

Just as Scripture describes how God has chosen and equipped us, it assures us that the righteous will flourish and bear fruit even in old age (Psalm 92:12-15) and that God will be faithful to complete the good work He’s begun in us (Philippians 1:6).

May the knowledge that our Heavenly Father has called and outfitted us to fulfill the roles He’s ordained and the assurance that He will sustain us all our days fill us with joy as we seek to live lives that honor and glorify Him, all the way to the day He welcomes us Home!

Recounting Our Stories to the Glory of God

/ Patsy Kuipers / 2 Comments

Give ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth! I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.
Psalm 78:1-4

Life-changing Moments

There have been many life-changing events in my six decades of living. Some were happily anticipated, like my wedding day and the births of my daughters and grandchildren. Others caught me by surprise, and not in a pleasant way.

Two events in the latter category  – the sudden death of my 39-year-old husband and the elimination of my job – severed my life into before and after segments so that what followed wasn’t just a new chapter but a whole new volume in my life story. Each year, when the anniversaries of those events come around, I intentionally look back at what’s happened since, remembering all God has done.

My reflections remind me that His ways are not my ways (Isaiah 55:8-9) and that He is able to do far more than I ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).

Telling and Retelling the Story

Sometimes, I wonder if I should keep discussing or writing about these experiences. Maybe others are tired of the repetition. Then I remember Elisabeth Elliot talking about how many times she told the story of losing her husband, Jim, and four friends in the jungles of Ecuador. Yet that was the story entrusted to her, and she faithfully told and retold it, always wrapped in a message of God’s sovereignty and providential care.

Author and friend Sharon Betters refers to such stories as our credentials, i.e., the very things that allow us to speak credibly into the lives of others because of God’s faithfulness to us in hard times. Furthermore, Scripture instructs us to comfort others with the same comfort we’ve received from God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

Fourteen Years

Today is the 14th anniversary of one of the life-cleaving episodes. On January 26, 2011, my 30-year career ended abruptly in a windowless conference room. Seeing my manager file in accompanied by her boss signaled what was to come. My heart rate increased as she calmly pronounced the death sentence on my career.

“I know you’re expecting to have your annual review, but you won’t be having it because your job has been eliminated.”

Thus ended the saga that had begun the previous year when she became my manager. Once promoted, she systematically removed most of my responsibilities, excluded me from meetings, and barred me from customer visits. Things became so stressful I wondered if God wanted me to stay or leave. I asked friends to pray for clear direction and wisdom to know what to do.

As the day of my review approached, I became increasingly convinced I’d be fired or put on probation. Still, hearing my manager’s words stunned me. My first thought? “This is real.” My second? “Thank You, Lord, for giving me a definite answer.”

A Fateful End

The HR Director came in as my manager and her boss departed. She described the severance package and pertinent legal details and told me to turn in my badge, company credit card, and computer, then added, “Please leave without talking to anyone.”

I followed her directions, each step feeling surreal. I exited the building, entered the misty chill of the gray winter afternoon, and walked to my parking spot one last time.

The following morning, I awoke to brilliant sunshine streaming in my window. Though I still couldn’t fully grasp my new status – unemployed! – I clung to my belief in God’s goodness and sovereignty. I posted on Facebook, “30+ years of continuous employment came to a halt yesterday when my job was eliminated. God obviously has something else for me to do. I can’t wait to see what it is!”

A New Beginning

Even so, I couldn’t imagine the gift God had planned for me. Two days after my job ended, I contacted the local technical college and began the process of returning to school to study horticulture. Six months later, my first grandchild, Joshua, was born. Eighteen months after that, he, his mother (my daughter Mary), and great-grandmother (my mom) were at my graduation. They watched me realize my dream of receiving an Environmental Horticulture diploma.

In the years since graduation day, my granddaughters were born. I’ve had the joy of spending time with them and Joshua on a regular basis since their earliest days, something I wouldn’t have been able to do if I’d been working full-time.

The intervening years have held some hard times, too. Mom’s health declined as she progressed through her 80s, and then she passed away several months shy of her 90th birthday. Six months after her passing, Dad experienced a stroke, which left him unable to handle the details of daily living. 

Being happily retired has allowed me the flexibility to help my family members, both young and old, pursue my passion for horticulture, become involved in women’s ministry at my church, and develop my writing skills. Though some may have meant evil against me, God surely meant the job elimination for good (Genesis 50:20).

Telling of His Glorious Deeds

We’re in good company when we retell our stories. The Israelites repeatedly told the story of God’s deliverance, as He commanded them to do so future generations would know all about His glorious deeds (Psalm 78).

And what story did they tell? The story of God’s rescue, how He brought them out of slavery in Egypt by sending plagues,  sparing the firstborn sons of families whose houses had lambs’ blood on the door frames, and drowning Pharoah’s army in the Red Sea after the Israelites passed over on dry ground. He gave His chosen people laws to live by and provided for them as they wandered the desert for 40 years. Disobedience brought about consequences, yet throughout the Israelites’ history, God faithfully preserved a people for Himself, even grafting pagans and Gentiles into His family.

Our Common Story

No matter the details of our individual stories, believers share the story of God’s rescue. We weren’t enslaved to a human taskmaster, but, dead in our trespasses, we were enslaved by sin, in desperate need of a Savior (Ephesians 2:1-3). God sent His Son, the spotless Lamb, whose blood made it possible for God’s wrath to pass over us as it did the night He rescued His people from Egypt. Unlike the Passover lambs and subsequent sacrifices performed year after year, Jesus’ sacrifice was sufficient for all time (1 Peter 1:18-19). 

So, dear readers, let’s continue to tell our unique stories of God’s goodness and faithfulness as we seek to encourage others in similar circumstances. But even more, may we recognize that our little stories are part of God’s great big story of redemption and point others to the hope we have in Jesus, the One in whom all God’s promises are yes and amen (2 Corinthians 1:20).

Dear Lord, thank You for loving us so much that You sent Your beloved Son to save us from our sins and make us alive in Him. Our lives have meaning because You chose us to be your treasured possession. May we honor You by giving You the glory in all of our stories.

Summer Doldrums

/ Patsy Kuipers / Leave a comment

Though the fig tree should not blossom,
    nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
    and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
    and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
    I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
Habakkuk 3:17-18

I have so much to be thankful for, so I endeavor to count my blessings instead of being negative and complaining. But, as Mom used to say, I am human, and sometimes things get me down. This summer is one of those times. As long-time readers of my posts know, my garden is usually a source of great joy for me, a place of solace where I love to spend time with the Lord. However, after an incredibly long and beautiful spring, we’ve had a summer of extremes.

June was hot and dry, with above-average temperatures and rainfall way below average. Then July arrived, and we got twice the usual amount of rain, which perked up all the plants and trees languishing from the early summer heat and drought but produced a bumper crop of mosquitos and created unfavorable conditions to do much of anything outside since the soil was too wet to weed, dig, or even stand on. Now August is here and we’ve returned to sweltering heat and humidity, with no rain in the forecast for days.

What’s a gardener to do?! I had such high hopes of tackling several significant projects this summer, but alas, I’ve barely been able to keep up with essential maintenance.

And then there’s the deer. They’ve passed through in previous years, feasted on some of my medium-sized hostas, and nibbled on a few toad lilies and asters, but this year, they’ve decimated even my biggest hostas, left nary a bud on the toad lilies or asters, and sampled all sorts of other things.

Between the weather, munching, and mosquitos, I haven’t experienced the garden joy I’ve come to count on.

Yesterday afternoon, I was picking up branches, big and small, dislodged when a mighty windstorm blew through last week, thankful that none of the towering trees had fallen. I was moving fast, focused on my task, trying to outpace the mosquitos. I turned to head back to my debris pile with another armload of branches when a pop of color caught my eye. I stopped and gazed at the brilliant blossoms covering one of my Encore® azaleas. I’d been so intent on my mission that I’d missed them earlier.

Despite the swarming bloodsuckers, I decided to engage in one of my favorite pastimes, also mostly abandoned this summer, and stroll the property in search of other treasures I may have missed. I wasn’t disappointed. As I spied first one flower and then another, my spirits lifted, and the passage from Habbakuk came to my mind.

Even though I haven’t been able to do much in my yard the past couple of months, God has been sustaining the plants, birds, and pollinators, just like He always does. And, as my compassionate heavenly Father, He remembers I’m dust, vulnerable to the vicissitudes of life (Psalm 103:13-14). Thus, whether joyful or distressed, I can bring it all to Him, knowing that He who graciously provides for the flowers and birds cares immensely more for me (Matthew 6:25-34).  

I’ve lived in Georgia for over thirty years, plenty long enough to know that the summer heat will eventually give way to more moderate weather. Regardless of the season, I will keep my eyes open for the evidence of God’s love all around me, and with Habbakuk, I will rejoice in the Lord and take joy in the God of my salvation.

I hope these photos, a sample of the things I saw yesterday, will bring joy to your heart just as discovering the flowers themselves did to mine.

Death Benefits, Revisited

/ Patsy Kuipers / Leave a comment

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me (Galatians 2:20).

Abram believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness (Genesis 15:6 (NIV).

I’ve been known to gasp over a post-Christmas credit card bill or cringe when writing my annual property tax check, but this may have been a first – tears filled my eyes as I gazed at a deposit to my account. The deposit was present because my husband no longer is.

After dealing with the aftermath of Ray’s sudden death – notifying family and friends, planning and attending his visitation, funeral, and burial services, traveling back and forth to North Carolina – grief clouded my thinking and slowed my body. Not yet able to fully grasp the finality of the situation, I moved through my days moment-by-moment, piecing thoughts and decisions together, struggling to complete a puzzle missing an essential piece.

My parents’ presence not only comforted me, but their clearer minds filled in some of the gaps in my thinking. And so, some ten days after Ray’s passing, at my dad’s urging, we made our way to the Social Security office. I recorded the following in my journal:

“Gathered things to take to meeting with Social Security after I took Mary and Jessie to school – marriage license, passports, M&J’s birth certificates – happy bits of my life, now gathered for a very unhappy purpose.”

Nonetheless, thankfulness and relief washed over me when I heard my minor daughters qualified to receive monthly benefits, based on their dad’s earnings, until their 18th birthdays. I received a small, one-time widow’s stipend along with the news that I would be eligible to collect Ray’s benefits when I reached age 60, at least if I hadn’t remarried by then. Remarrying seemed highly improbable. Like a swan, I felt I mated once, for life. Regardless, my 60th birthday loomed 22 years in the future, a distant speck on a 21st-century calendar, so I filed that bit of information in the far reaches of my mind.

I dedicated myself to raising my daughters, completed a 30-year career at a large corporation, returned to school to study horticulture, and became “Grammie” to three precious little ones. All the while, the calendar pages kept turning with increasing velocity until that distant speck became an entry on my planner, “me – 60!!” Once again, I gathered important documents and went to the Social Security office. Thoughts of the former trip accompanied me, as did so many similar emotions, which became barely-contained tears as I resolutely recounted my story to the kind agent who entered my claim.

Several months later, the first deposit appeared on the designated date, eliciting the tears mentioned above. Ray’s benefits, based on his years of diligent work, were credited to my account. I had done nothing to earn them other than being his widow and believing that the benefits would be there as promised.

Each year, as the April 19th anniversary of Ray’s death approaches, I intentionally think back to my last week with him and my first one without him. My annual remembrance occurs in the same season as Holy Week, another time of intentional remembrance, though the exact dates of the latter change from year to year. From Palm Sunday to Good Friday, I recall the events of each day of Jesus’ final week, all He endured to save me, a destitute sinner with no hope of saving up any treasure worthy of entering the Father’s presence.

And then comes Resurrection Sunday! What joy and gratitude fill my heart, knowing Jesus’ sacrifice paid my debt and credited His perfect righteousness to my account, an account that now overflows with eternal blessings.

Indeed, Jesus’ sinless life, atoning death, and subsequent resurrection guarantee numerous benefits for those who belong to Him. Consider, for example:

  • Peace with God – Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 5:1). (See also Luke 2:14; Romans 15:13)
  • Forgiveness – To him all the prophets bear witness that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name (Acts 10:43). (See also Ephesians 1:7; Colossians 1:13-14)
  • God’s abiding presence now – And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age  (Matthew 28:20b). (See also Deuteronomy 31:8)
  • and forever – Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God (Revelation 21:1-3).
  • An eternal home – In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also (John 14:2-3).
  • An imperishable body – Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality (1 Corinthians 15:51-53. (See 1 Corinthians 15:35-58 for the full description of the change we can look forward to.)
  • An eternal inheritance – Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time (1 Peter 1:3-5).

I’m grateful to receive Ray’s Social Security payments. They connect me to him and remind me of his love and care while he was with me. But each month, when I see that deposit on my statement, it also reminds me of the One who is my ultimate and eternal Provider, the Giver of all good gifts (James 1:17), who didn’t spare His only Son, but gave Him up for us all (Romans 8:32) to secure death benefits of the most enduring kind.

Gratitude

/ Patsy Kuipers / Leave a comment

I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify your name forever.
Psalm 86:12

It wasn’t a chirp or a tweet but an intermittent, melodious trill that caught my attention. The pattern – a snippet of song followed by a moment of silence – repeated several times, causing me to look out the window to see which feathered friend was singing so sweetly. There, perched on the suet, was a Carolina wren, one of the smaller birds that visit the buffet of treats I’ve placed on my deck. I watched him take a nibble (silence), then sing his little song. The endearing sight both charmed and convicted me. Charmed because I imagined the tiny creature thanking the Creator after each bite. Convicted since I know there are times when I fail to express my thankfulness to the Giver of all good gifts (James 1:17).

Longtime readers know I’m a ponderer. Thus, my thoughts turned to how I feel when someone doesn’t thank me for a gift or an act of kindness, which quickly led to me remembering the story of Jesus healing ten lepers (Luke 17:11-19). Only one, a Samaritan, came back to thank Jesus. Scripture doesn’t tell us why the other nine didn’t return, so we’re left to surmise their reasons. Maybe they were astonished at being healed, so overwhelmed with joy that they couldn’t wait to show their friends and relatives after they showed themselves to the priests. Who knows how long they’d been outcasts, separated by the uncleanness of the dread disease?

I doubt ingratitude for such a miraculous healing was the main reason they didn’t return, yet Jesus’ question, “Where are the nine?” conveys His disappointment in the behavior of those who went on their merry way. There are times when I’m thankful, but I don’t take the extra step to express that gratitude to God or to the person who’s blessed me. That robs God of the glory He deserves, the other person of the gladness of knowing they made a difference, and me from the delight of counting my blessings and realizing there’s so much more for me than against me!

Expressing gratitude is a joy-producing practice. As Christians, we can start by acknowledging that everything we have and are, from each breath we take to our salvation in Christ and every blessing in between, big or small, are gifts from our gracious heavenly Father (Ephesians 1:3). Then, we can be intentional about recognizing the good gifts others give us, both the material and relational, tangible and intangible.

God deserves all honor, praise, and glory, and we benefit by acknowledging and appreciating all He’s given us. Over the years, studies have shown a correlation between gratitude and emotional well-being, with thankful people being more positive and hopeful.

As we celebrate Valentine’s Day later this week, may we remember that God loved us so much He gave us the most precious gift He could give – His one and only Son (John 3:16). And let us never adopt a sense of entitlement, thinking we deserve the bountiful blessings He bestows upon us. Instead, let us endeavor to cultivate an attitude of gratitude, being thankful for every morsel and miracle He gives us until we find ourselves singing a happy song of thanksgiving like the little wren.

Sing praises to the Lord, O you his saints, and give thanks to his holy name.
Psalm 30:4

Chief Cheerleader

/ Patsy Kuipers / 6 Comments

If God is for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:31b

My daughters run. Mary, my eldest, began cross country in 8th grade, while Jessie, my youngest, ran the middle distances. They’ve remained diligent in their running endeavors. Mary has completed three marathons and several half-marathons. Jessie, too, has completed several halfs. Both have competed in countless 5ks, 10ks, and 10-milers.

My granddaughters, 9-year-old Lyla and 7-year-old Emma, have taken after their mom and Aunt Jessie. Starting with tot trots and moving up to 1-mile fun runs, they’ve now completed several 5ks. That’s a long way for little bodies and relatively short legs, but they’ve made it.

I don’t run. Running didn’t agree with me when I was in my early 20s, and it sure doesn’t agree with me forty years later. I suppose I could run if something were chasing me, but I prefer walking. However, this lack of enthusiasm didn’t deter me from attending my daughters’ races as often as possible. I took my role of head cheerleader seriously and still do.

A nearby town hosts a series of 5k races each year. Once a month during race season, I take up my post on my cheering corner to exhort my runners on to the finish line.

The town where Mary and her family live hosts an annual Turkey Chase. This year marked my second time at this particular race, so I’m not as familiar with where to stand to best encourage my runners. Nonetheless,  I positioned myself at what I hoped would be a promising location and waited for my people to appear.

Jessie was the first to come into view. I cheered her on, took a couple of photos, and turned my attention back to the hill as she rounded the corner and disappeared out of sight. Lyla was next to appear. She was walking as she crested the hill, but as soon as she heard my, “Go, Lyla, finish strong! You can do it!!” she took off with a burst of energy I couldn’t have mustered at the start, much less the end of the race.

I expected to see Mary and Emma close behind. Minutes passed. I peered as far as I could down the course, anxiously scanning each group of runners. But still no Mary and her happy little sidekick. Finally, fearing I’d somehow missed them in the throng of runners, I turned to “Find My Friends” to check for Mary’s dot. I hadn’t overlooked them. They were still out there. More minutes ticked by, and I moved further down the sidewalk so I could see them as soon as they turned the corner and started up the big hill.

Finally, they came into view, moseying along. I had no doubt Emma’s legs were tired, and mama bear Mary was sticking with her cub. I mustered my loudest voice and yelled, “Go, Mary! Come on, Emma!!”

Like a shot of adrenaline, my words had the desired effect. No more strolling for Emma! She was running at top speed and flashed a big smile my way as she barreled by, shouting, “Hey, Grammster!”

Likewise, Mary upped her pace, and they dashed to the finish line where the rest of their adoring fans (Jessie, Lyla, son-in-law Justin, and grandson Joshua) were waiting to welcome them. Even from a block away, I could hear Jessie yell, “That’s my sister!” when Mary crossed the finish line, arms raised in victory.

We all need cheerleaders, don’t we? Those people who’ll believe in us no matter what and encourage us to keep going. My husband Ray and my mom were those people for me. Death silenced Ray’s voice 26 years ago and took Mom from me almost three. Yet, after benefitting from Ray’s encouragement for 16 years and Mom’s for six decades, I still feel their love and am sustained by their belief in me.

I don’t consider it a stretch to think they’re still cheering me on. After all, Scripture says we’re surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, faithful saints who’ve followed Jesus’ example and shown us how to run well (Hebrews 12:1-2).

The introductory verse above begins one of my favorite passages:

If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? . . . No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:31b-35; 37-39).

Not only is God our biggest cheerleader, He’s ensured we have everything we need to finish our race. Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, is seated at the right hand of God, interceding for us! We will be victorious because Jesus ran the perfect race and secured the victory with His precious blood. No trial or hardship or calamity, nothing, not even death, can separate us from His love. In fact, death is merely the portal through which we pass to eternity in His presence with our loved ones.

Dear readers, I pray you have at least one person standing staunchly on your cheering corner. Equally important, who might need your encouragement? Is there someone in your circle whose trot has turned into a trudge? Maybe your voice is the very one they need to hear cheering them on.

Epilogue

Several months ago, it became apparent that my dad’s earthly life was drawing to a close. I assured him he was almost Home and that Mom would be there to greet him. As we waited for the undertaker to arrive in the wee hours of July 12th, Dad’s hospice nurse asked, “Did he tell you he’s been seeing your mom?”

“No, but I’m not surprised. I told Dad she’d be waiting for him.”

Jen replied, “When I was with him the other day, he asked me if I saw Thelma. I said, ‘No, John, it’s just us,’ but he assured me she was there.”

I’m equally confident that Mom, Dad, Ray, and a bevy of other relatives and friends will be waiting as I near the finish line, elated and exuberant, ready to welcome me Home. As I run into Jesus’ arms, I hope to hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant!” And, after hearing Jessie’s proud pronouncement over Mary, I can imagine Him adding, “That’s my sister!” affirming my forever place in His family.

Wait for the Lord

/ Patsy Kuipers / Leave a comment

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.
Lamentations 3:25-26

Cereal Shortage

Inflation has caused prices of all kinds of goods to skyrocket in the past year. (Stick with me. I promise this isn’t a political commentary!) I’ve been particularly appalled as I’ve watched the price of my favorite cereal creep toward, then gallop past, the $6 mark. Years ago, when the price hovered around $4 per box, I began waiting for BOGO (buy-one-get-one-free) sales and then stocking up in hopes of having enough to last until the next one.

Such was my plan earlier this summer when Publix featured my cereal in their sale circular. Although I had several boxes in my pantry, I decided to add a few more to cushion my reserves. I expectantly approached the shelf where the cereal usually resides, only to find it empty with an “Our Apologies” note posted on the edge. I made a couple more stops when I passed the store during the sale, but the shelf was empty each time. As the sale drew to a close, I requested a rain check, explaining that I’d stopped multiple times only to find the bare shelf and note of apology.

Armed with my rain check, I stopped by repeatedly over the next few weeks, hoping to find the cereal. A month passed and my rain check expired – still no sign of the cereal. I decided to check Amazon. I located my cereal. Hooray! But wait! $42 for two boxes?? Was I reading it wrong? Were these extra-large boxes? A whole case? I reread the description. Nope! Some enterprising person was trying to sell two boxes of cereal for  $42!

That’s when it finally occurred to me – there must be a shortage. A quick google confirmed my suspicion. Something had disrupted the production, but a note from the manufacturer promised distribution would return to normal by October.

I checked my inventory, did a quick calculation, and smiled. If the manufacturer stuck to their schedule, my cereal would be available before my stockpile ran out.

Watching and Wavering

Week after week passed. I kept checking for the cereal. Each time, the bare shelf and “Sorry” note greeted me. Meanwhile, my supply was dwindling, but I remained confident, remembering that God cares about the details of our lives, knew exactly when my stash would run out, and was fully capable of providing the cereal “just in time.”

And then, the day arrived when I opened the last box from my pantry. I stopped by the store and checked the shelf – empty. Even though I remained confident God would come through, I purchased another brand of cereal so I would have something to eat for breakfast in case He didn’t.

A few days later, I went back to the store. As I approached the shelf, I could see the persistent gap, but the “Our Apologies” sign was gone, and there, at the back of the shelf, were several boxes of my favorite cereal. The corners of my mouth lifted in a grin of validation. See! I knew I wouldn’t run out!

So why didn’t I remain firm and act on that belief? Good question. I suppose I wanted to “be sure,” as if God’s steadfast love and provision aren’t among the most certain things in my life!

Helping God

I have so many examples, big and small, of God’s faithfulness to look back on, including little touches like this that remind me He cares about the things we care about. He’s a good Father who delights in giving His children good gifts (Matthew 7:11; James 1:7), yet sometimes I get impatient and decide to “help.”

I only have to look at the Bible to realize I’m not alone. Remember how Sarah took things into her own hands to ensure Abraham would have an heir? Instead of waiting on God to fulfill His promise and never imagining she might be the one to bear her husband a son given her advanced age, she offered her maidservant, Hagar, to Abraham. That liaison resulted in the birth of a son, but not the one God had promised, and much hostility and heartache resulted from Sarah’s actions (See Genesis 15-17, 21:1-21).

And how about Rebekah? When she became pregnant with twin sons, God told her the older would serve the younger. Esau, born seconds before his brother, was their father Isaac’s favorite, while Rebekah preferred Jacob. She, too, decided to help God and concocted an elaborate ruse to secure Isaac’s blessing for Jacob. Though her favorite obtained the coveted blessing, the process led to much animosity, just like Sarah’s had a generation before (See Genesis 25:19-34; Genesis 27).

Perfect Plans

We can count on God’s promises. We can trust that His plan is good and perfect, as is His timing (Isaiah 55:8-9). He doesn’t need us to implement our own solutions, no matter how well-intentioned. He wants us to trust, obey, and wait.

There have been times when I’ve been forced to wait, times when my manipulation of circumstances didn’t yield the hoped-for results, or sometimes, no result at all except for frustration on my part. Yet, because God didn’t bless my maneuverings, I have examples of the superiority of His plans and purposes that assure me I can trust Him for something better.

I don’t know what you might be waiting for, dear reader, but I invite you to join me in quiet anticipation of God delivering on all His promises, knowing He is sovereign over every detail of our lives.

As for the substitute cereal I bought? For now, it can stay in my pantry, a simple reminder of a profound truth.