Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (Emphasis mine)

Comforting Others

These verses are among my favorite passages in all of Scripture. They contain God’s promise to comfort me and remind me to share that comfort with others, thereby giving meaning to my suffering. 

It will soon be 30 years since I sat in an adult Sunday school class and listened as a friend requested prayer for her sister who had lost her husband suddenly to a heart attack. I was truly sorry for her family’s loss and prayed for them in the days that followed. A month later, my sympathy turned to empathy when I lost my 39-year-old husband, also to a heart attack. I no longer had to imagine what it must be like; I knew firsthand what it feels like to receive shocking news and to wander through your days, numb, with a part of yourself missing.

Ray died at work on a Saturday evening, so the pastors of our church shared the news with the congregation the following morning. I called my manager and my elementary-aged daughter’s teacher. Soon, my house overflowed with people from church, work, and school, some bringing food, all wanting to offer hugs and sincere sympathy.

Though I appreciated every visitor, two came that day who understood our pain better than most: one of my daughter’s best friends and her mother. They had lost their young dad and husband to brain cancer the year before.

My dear friend Sharon Betters, who lost her 16-year-old son in a car accident, says that our losses become our credentials, providing credibility as we point others to the God of all comfort who has comforted us. In the years since Ray’s sudden death, I’ve had the opportunity to come alongside other widows as one who understands, as one who can assure them that God keeps His promises. Promises to never leave or forsake us, to be a protector of widows and their fatherless children.

Sharing in Christ’s Suffering

Elisabeth Elliot’s definition of suffering – having what you don’t want or wanting what you don’t have[1] – reminds us that there are plenty of opportunities to suffer. 

Too often, I think of Christ’s suffering in terms of the events that happened after he was arrested – being betrayed, falsely accused, mocked, beaten, and crucified – yet His suffering actually began when He left His Father’s side, took on flesh, and dwelt among us in our broken, sin-scarred world.

Thus, the writer of the letter to the Hebrews assures us that we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin and encourages us to draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need (Hebrews 4:15-16).

Continuing in his letter to the Corinthians, the Apostle Paul writes, “For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too,” which brings us back to the assurance that God doesn’t reserve His comfort for times of direst need. He is the God of all comfort, a loving Father who invites us to bring our hurts to Him, even those we consider too small to bother Him with.

Depending on God

After assuring his readers of God’s abundant comfort, Paul goes on to describe an arduous experience he had in Asia: “Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead” (2 Corinthians 1:9).

Bible teacher Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth[2] often says, “Anything that makes me need God is a blessing,” echoing the sentiment found in Paul’s statement.

When things are going well, it’s so easy to think, “I’ve got it all under control,” but no matter how smooth or trying our circumstances are, God is the One in control. Sometimes He needs to remind us not to be self-confident and self-reliant, but Christ-confident and God-reliant.

I’ve admitted many times that if there had been a sign-up sheet with the heading, “Get to Know God Better by Losing Your Husband,” I wouldn’t have put my name on it. But God did. Because He did, I’ve learned to depend on Him in ways I never would have if Ray had been with me. Finding Him to be absolutely, unreservedly faithful has strengthened and solidified my testimony. I can say with the hymn writer:

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him! How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er . . . I’m so glad I learned to trust Him, Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend; And I know that He is with me, will be with me to the end.[3]

Dear Father, I will not seek trouble or intentionally cause myself pain; however, when trials come, I’m so thankful to know they pass through Your loving hand first. I trust You to use them to accomplish Your purposes for Your glory, enabling me to comfort others, share in Christ’s sufferings, and depend on You, the One who has the power to conquer death and every other lesser problem.

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[1] Elisabeth Elliot, Suffering Is Never for Nothing (B&H Publishing Group, 2019), 9.

[2] Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is the founder and lead Bible teacher for Revive Our Hearts, a ministry dedicated to calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

[3] From “’Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus,” public domain.